HAWKE

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

Comments

w0, tuesday

[foreverphantom]

[ well. here is this sad pathetic thing. he's barely moved since the fight, only to shove himself into a corner around the back of the mansion.

he's just laying here curled up in a tight little ball facing the mansion wall. ]

[nonmagicuser]

[ damb this Is pathetic. rip dan you didn't even stand a chance

hawke will come crouch down out of hitting range ]

Would you like a cookie?

[foreverphantom]

[ quietly: ] I don't deserve a cookie.

[nonmagicuser]

[ buddy...... ]

Come now... Cookies are good for all things including when you get mercilessly destroyed.

[foreverphantom]

Those who get mercilessly destroyed don't get cookies. They get killed.

[nonmagicuser]

I suppose I'll just have to eat this cookie for you then. Shame I've got two of them.

[foreverphantom]

[ sloooowly rolls over so that now the depression ball is facing hawke

he holds out a hand for the cookie ]

[nonmagicuser]

[ now you can see his humor in full hd ]

There we go. That wasn't too hard was it?

[ at least he wasn't lying about the cookie. mmm soft and still a little warm directly from the cafe.


they just also happen to be chocolate chip paw prints ]

[foreverphantom]

[ he neither notices nor cares about any of the cookie's qualities because he is immediately overturning his hand and mashing it into the dirt ]

w1, mon

[nonmagicuser]

[ you'll find him free of shenanigans and squinting at the skeletons with half a suspicious look and plotting even more problems for future hawke ]

There's got to be a spell that does this.

[foreverphantom]

What, a spell that conjures stationary skeletons? This is just how skeletons are by default.

[nonmagicuser]

[ points to the cute small animal ones ] Something that animates those but not into some unholy creation of blood magic and terror? Harder than you would believe.

[foreverphantom]

...you do realize that they're fake, right?

[nonmagicuser]

[ points ] Half the fun of animating the inanimate to life is scaring the pants off of someone. When they're already pantswettingly scary, then it's moot point.

[foreverphantom]

You call this [ points to a skelechicken ] scary?

[nonmagicuser]

Clearly, you've never seen a chicken with a grudge before.

[foreverphantom]

Oh yeah? You were terrorized by a big bad chicken? What did it do, kill your family?

w3, weds

[nonmagicuser]

[ how are you this fine wednesday?? i hope you're in a good mood because hawke is about to ruin it with icky emotions.

but the horror is worth it, maybe ]

[foreverphantom]

[ well if he was in a good mood before he certainly isn't now

he just stands there reeling from the end of the memory for a few moments, unsure how to respond. ]

...it looks like she died. They? Or...it.

[nonmagicuser]

[ talk about getting to see your worst memories live on free-per-view!! at least hawke looks like he wants to crawl into a grave and stay there.

maybe it's his turn to go hang out head first in the blool, actually ]

She's. ...They. Were all dead after that. Whatever magics he used failed upon his death.

[foreverphantom]

...how long were they like that? Consciously, I mean.

[nonmagicuser]

[ he has to think about this??? makes a face, trying to calculate and failing ]

A few days? It's all a blur at this point. I... can only hope mother wasn't.... awake for any of it.


[ necromancy is bad, actually!!!! ]

[foreverphantom]

Sounds like she was.

But how much was her versus...everyone else?

[nonmagicuser]

Enough to recognize her.

[ ... ]

And enough to not.

[foreverphantom]

[ his mouth thins out in a line. almost the barest of smiles, almost a grimace. ]

Of course.

[ a pause. ]

Do you think they were happy to die?