foreverphantom

[ he has to think about this??? makes a face, trying to calculate and failing ]

A few days? It's all a blur at this point. I... can only hope mother wasn't.... awake for any of it.

[ necromancy is bad, actually!!!! ]

Sounds like she was.

But how much was her versus...everyone else?

Enough to recognize her.

[ ... ]

And enough to not.

[ his mouth thins out in a line. almost the barest of smiles, almost a grimace. ]

Of course.

[ a pause. ]

Do you think they were happy to die?

I don't think anyone would be happy to be like that. It can't even be called a true existince with so many parts amalgamated into one.

[ because on a scale of i use blood magic for fun and profit to lets just poison ourselves with red glowing rocks for power and insanity, this ranks pretty high on the `wouldn't wish this on the worst of the lot (except that one guy)` ]

If anything, I'm sure Mother was happy to reunite with Father and Bethany again.

I should be offended, but I can't exactly disagree.

[ eyebrows ]

Don't tell me. You've been nine different people in a trenchcoat this whole time.

No, just two.

If Anders is anything to go by, I'd say having an extra existence stuck with you is far different than having dozens of others sewn together into a horrific abomination.

It's less "having an extra existence stuck with you" and more "putting two people into a blender until one brand new freak comes out of the slurry."

It's bad enough with just the two. I don't think anything with dozens of people fused together would want to stick around for very long.

Probably for the best that they died off quick.

[ does the eyebrow juggling of both `THAT IS SO CONCERNING` and `this explains so much` before ending on a simple ]

I suppose at least there isn't as many arguments that way. I'd never get anything done again if I were arguing with multiple copies of myself about my own poor life choices.

Please. If you mash up two drastically different people who are at odds with each other, there's still a lot of...conflict.

[ anyway what better time than for another memory to start playing out ]

[ hold on a moment he needs a minute to process the sheer level of `SO GLAD I'M NOT THIS GUY` trauma happening here ]

Ah. I see.

[ where are we watching these memories anyway, i'm assigning it the not-blool. he throws an ectoblast at it as the memory is ending--all it does really is cause a splash, but it's enough. ]

Sick and tired of that getting shown all the time...

[ good enough for me.

after all, hawke continues to not even know where to begin with any of this. SO I GUESS YOU RELATE MORE THAN I EXPECTED, HUH. that seems the fastest way to get him blasted into the void. he's been So Good lately let's not tempt that. ]

Can't imagine why a place that likes messing with our heads would prefer memories we'd rather never think about again.

[ barks a laugh ] Bold of you to assume there was ever a time when I wasn't thinking about that.

Yet another point towards this being purgatory. Not that I needed more, I'm already convinced.

[ not me misplacing this tag for a minute. anyway. hawke just looks tired ]

As if there was any doubt. The golden city is hardly as shining as the stories make it out to be. Perhaps it truly is as black as its been turned.

HAWKE

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