CHARLIE

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

Comments

[productionhell]

It's okay, I got plenty more!

Hoooooow about.... Obsidian?

[foreverphantom]

[ I HATE HOW INTO THIS HE IS!!!!! ]

No. Too many syllables.

[productionhell]

[ orders him some like. steak or something idek ]

Shadow!

[foreverphantom]

No. That one's already taken.

...got any more fire-themed ones?

[productionhell]

[ hmmm ponders for a second... ]

Inferno?

[foreverphantom]

[ nodding thoughtfully now ]

Brimstone is still better, but...this is more the right direction.

[productionhell]

Well, we could stick with Brimstone, and I just won't shorten it? Or maybe.... Hellfire?

[ she can go on all day ]

[foreverphantom]

Both of those are pretty decent options...

Brimstone has more of a subtle flair to it, though. [ "SUBTLE" I FUCKING HATE HIM!!!!!!!! ]

[productionhell]

I do like Brimstone the most. But Hellfire also reminds me of home....

[ brimstone sounds a bit less violent to her ears, though ]

[foreverphantom]

[ well, shit. he didn't want to get to know her but then she hooked him with brimstone and hellfire!!!! ]

Does it now.

[productionhell]

They both do, really... since my home is Hell.

[ will this fact make him like her more? ]

[foreverphantom]

[ well it's certainly not going to make him like her less ]

Hell is real where you're from? Must be a different dimension.

How'd you end up there? [ WHAT DID YOU DO TO DESERVE HELL ]

[productionhell]

Yep! Sure is real. But I think you're onto something with this different dimension stuff.

Well, I was born there. And raised! So I know a little bit about brimstone and hellfire.

[ gives him a little wink ]

[foreverphantom]

I know I am. We definitely don't have hell where I'm from--just one afterlife for everyone. No heaven, no hell, if you die and end up a ghost, you all end up in the same place.

...born and raised in hell, huh. [ he can't tell if intrinsic evil is better or worse than earning your way to hell the old fashioned way ] So you were never human--always a demon?

[productionhell]

[ pretend she also suggested Sulfur for a name ]

Interesting... so there's no separation of souls? Just.... ghosts everywhere?

[ she nods ]

That's right. But I know lots and lots of demon souls that were once human. Like.... really lots. [ there is an overpopulation problem, rip ]

[foreverphantom]

[ oops i forgot about this tag ]

Not everyone turns into a ghost when they die. But otherwise, yes.

Do you know all the demons personally?

[productionhell]

What happens to them? Do they... disappear?

[ morbid ]

Not all of them. I run a hotel in Hell, you see... that takes up a lot of my time.

[foreverphantom]

The ones who don't become ghosts? [ shrugs ] Death is the end for them. Nothing else comes after. It's either become a ghost, or nothing.

A hotel, huh? I guess you would meet a lot of demons that way. What kind of activity do you have in Hell that necessitates a hotel stay?

[productionhell]

That's kiiiind of what I was expecting to happen to me when I died.

[ certainly not going to heaven ]

Redemption!

[ eyes sparkle. is he surprised? of course not ]

[foreverphantom]

[ RECORD SCRATCH ]

...you're kidding.

[productionhell]

[ of course ]

... You see.... there's an overpopulation problem in Hell. And.... Heaven's answer is to send angels to murder them.

And, well... I came up with an alternative. Rehabilitating sinners so they can get into Heaven, instead of cruelly killed.

[ ... ]

[foreverphantom]

Why not just kill the angels instead? They're the ones threatening you in the first place.

[productionhell]

Well, their army is a lot more powerful than yours. A lot more. Until very recently, we didn't even know they could be killed.

.... But unfortunately, it has. Uh. Come to that. Since Heaven didn't listen.

[ yikes ]

[foreverphantom]

Well...good. Now that you know they can be killed, you know what to do.

[ wait. ]

...that's how you died, isn't it.

[productionhell]

Yes, I was killed by the leader of their exorcists.

[ awkward ]