CHARLIE

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

Comments

[foreverphantom]

It's looking like a child. It's being weak. It's that everything I ever was and ever did has amounted to...nothing.

[ my empire of dirt etc ]

[productionhell]

Yes, I can see how that would be very frustrating...

[ she thought he was genuinely a kid but she's not going to say that ]

What were your goals before?

[ hopefully not just `destroying everything` ]

[foreverphantom]

Ensuring my own continued existence. Ruining my own past selves' lives. Quashing any attempts to stop me.

[productionhell]

Your past selves' lives...?

[foreverphantom]

Yes. If my life had to be ruined, then so should theirs.

...was my thought process.

[productionhell]

What happened?

[ concerned look ]

[foreverphantom]

Our timelines diverged. In mine, everything went wrong. In theirs, they get to live happily ever after.

It's...it wasn't fair.

[productionhell]

Oh.... I see.

[ awkward ]

I can see why you'd be angry. It sounds like you had a very painful life.

[foreverphantom]

Don't--!!

Don't pretend like you understand.

[productionhell]

Sorry.

... Of course I don't understand what you've been through. But... I can understand how that suffering would make you angry.

[foreverphantom]

It wasn't...it's...

[ he wants to say it wasn't that. the old spiel he used to believe. but that's clearly and thoroughly been proven not to be the case, and not even his pride can hide that. ]

...yeah.

[productionhell]

Especially if that's all you've ever known, for so long.

I'm very sorry, Brimstone.

[foreverphantom]

I don't want pity.

[productionhell]

Pity and sympathy aren't the same thing, you know.

[foreverphantom]

Yes, they are.

[productionhell]

Why do you say that?

[foreverphantom]

Because it's the truth.

You look at someone pathetic or suffering and go "awww, how sad!" and it does nothing to help them or fix the problem. And no matter what you call it, you know they feel smug and superior that they're not like that themselves.

[productionhell]

....

Okay, I can see how it'd come across that way. [ she does not look smug and superior, that's for sure ] So, instead, let me say.

How can I help? Is there anything I can do to fix the problem? Even just a little?

[foreverphantom]

...I don't know.

I hate what I have now. But...what I had before wasn't any better.

[ he says that last part quietly, like it's a secret he's afraid to confess ]

[productionhell]

[ hmm. she is thoughtful ]

What did you have before?

[foreverphantom]

...a prison the size of a thermos, where I couldn't move or see or hear or feel anything.

And before that...nothing but the ruins of a world I destroyed.

[productionhell]

.... Yeah. I can see why you wouldn't be happy with either of those situations.

Why did you destroy it?

[foreverphantom]

Because I could. Because nothing made sense anymore. Because it wasn't fair that I had to suffer and everyone else could just carry on.

[productionhell]

[ gently ]

It sounds like... it didn't change how you felt.

[foreverphantom]

[ looks away ]

...I thought it did. At the time.