CHARLIE

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

Comments

[productionhell]

[ of course ]

... You see.... there's an overpopulation problem in Hell. And.... Heaven's answer is to send angels to murder them.

And, well... I came up with an alternative. Rehabilitating sinners so they can get into Heaven, instead of cruelly killed.

[ ... ]

[foreverphantom]

Why not just kill the angels instead? They're the ones threatening you in the first place.

[productionhell]

Well, their army is a lot more powerful than yours. A lot more. Until very recently, we didn't even know they could be killed.

.... But unfortunately, it has. Uh. Come to that. Since Heaven didn't listen.

[ yikes ]

[foreverphantom]

Well...good. Now that you know they can be killed, you know what to do.

[ wait. ]

...that's how you died, isn't it.

[productionhell]

Yes, I was killed by the leader of their exorcists.

[ awkward ]

[foreverphantom]

[ uhhhh. hmm. this is the kind of thing you offer sympathy over, isn't it? oh god. he doesn't know how to do that. ]

...well, that sucks.

[ off brand "that's rough buddy" ]

[productionhell]

Thank you, Brimstone.

[ an effort was made and she appreciates it ]

In any case, I just have to focus on what I can do now.

[foreverphantom]

Like what?

[productionhell]

Like... getting to know this place and its people! Gathering information!

... That sort of thing.

[foreverphantom]

...And then what? [ THAT CAN'T BE YOUR ENDGAME ]

[productionhell]

Well, I gotta wait until more information is available before picking a direction. But we already have more areas to explore. So that's... a direction.

[foreverphantom]

So this is what we're reduced to when we can't just raze everything to the ground...

[productionhell]

Do you, ah, usually solve problems that way?

[foreverphantom]

I used to.

It didn't work so well the last time, though.

[productionhell]

What happened?

[foreverphantom]

Got put in extreme solitary for a few years. Then I broke out and nearly destroyed all of reality and got forced into being this. [ gestures down at himself ]

[productionhell]

So your current body is a punishment of sorts for trying to destroy reality?

[ that's rough, buddy ]

[foreverphantom]

No, me almost glitching out of existence completely was my...punishment, of sorts. This was a mercy. To keep me from disappearing.

[ he bites it out like a curse ]

[productionhell]

So someone put you into this body to keep you from disappearing?

Would you have rather disappeared...?

[foreverphantom]

[ vehemently: ] No. Never.

[productionhell]

[ that's a relief to know!! ]

Is it this body in particular that bothers you?

[foreverphantom]

It's looking like a child. It's being weak. It's that everything I ever was and ever did has amounted to...nothing.

[ my empire of dirt etc ]

[productionhell]

Yes, I can see how that would be very frustrating...

[ she thought he was genuinely a kid but she's not going to say that ]

What were your goals before?

[ hopefully not just `destroying everything` ]

[foreverphantom]

Ensuring my own continued existence. Ruining my own past selves' lives. Quashing any attempts to stop me.

[productionhell]

Your past selves' lives...?