CHARLIE

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

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[foreverphantom]

I know I am. We definitely don't have hell where I'm from--just one afterlife for everyone. No heaven, no hell, if you die and end up a ghost, you all end up in the same place.

...born and raised in hell, huh. [ he can't tell if intrinsic evil is better or worse than earning your way to hell the old fashioned way ] So you were never human--always a demon?

[productionhell]

[ pretend she also suggested Sulfur for a name ]

Interesting... so there's no separation of souls? Just.... ghosts everywhere?

[ she nods ]

That's right. But I know lots and lots of demon souls that were once human. Like.... really lots. [ there is an overpopulation problem, rip ]

[foreverphantom]

[ oops i forgot about this tag ]

Not everyone turns into a ghost when they die. But otherwise, yes.

Do you know all the demons personally?

[productionhell]

What happens to them? Do they... disappear?

[ morbid ]

Not all of them. I run a hotel in Hell, you see... that takes up a lot of my time.

[foreverphantom]

The ones who don't become ghosts? [ shrugs ] Death is the end for them. Nothing else comes after. It's either become a ghost, or nothing.

A hotel, huh? I guess you would meet a lot of demons that way. What kind of activity do you have in Hell that necessitates a hotel stay?

[productionhell]

That's kiiiind of what I was expecting to happen to me when I died.

[ certainly not going to heaven ]

Redemption!

[ eyes sparkle. is he surprised? of course not ]

[foreverphantom]

[ RECORD SCRATCH ]

...you're kidding.

[productionhell]

[ of course ]

... You see.... there's an overpopulation problem in Hell. And.... Heaven's answer is to send angels to murder them.

And, well... I came up with an alternative. Rehabilitating sinners so they can get into Heaven, instead of cruelly killed.

[ ... ]

[foreverphantom]

Why not just kill the angels instead? They're the ones threatening you in the first place.

[productionhell]

Well, their army is a lot more powerful than yours. A lot more. Until very recently, we didn't even know they could be killed.

.... But unfortunately, it has. Uh. Come to that. Since Heaven didn't listen.

[ yikes ]

[foreverphantom]

Well...good. Now that you know they can be killed, you know what to do.

[ wait. ]

...that's how you died, isn't it.

[productionhell]

Yes, I was killed by the leader of their exorcists.

[ awkward ]

[foreverphantom]

[ uhhhh. hmm. this is the kind of thing you offer sympathy over, isn't it? oh god. he doesn't know how to do that. ]

...well, that sucks.

[ off brand "that's rough buddy" ]

[productionhell]

Thank you, Brimstone.

[ an effort was made and she appreciates it ]

In any case, I just have to focus on what I can do now.

[foreverphantom]

Like what?

[productionhell]

Like... getting to know this place and its people! Gathering information!

... That sort of thing.

[foreverphantom]

...And then what? [ THAT CAN'T BE YOUR ENDGAME ]

[productionhell]

Well, I gotta wait until more information is available before picking a direction. But we already have more areas to explore. So that's... a direction.

[foreverphantom]

So this is what we're reduced to when we can't just raze everything to the ground...

[productionhell]

Do you, ah, usually solve problems that way?

[foreverphantom]

I used to.

It didn't work so well the last time, though.

[productionhell]

What happened?

[foreverphantom]

Got put in extreme solitary for a few years. Then I broke out and nearly destroyed all of reality and got forced into being this. [ gestures down at himself ]

[productionhell]

So your current body is a punishment of sorts for trying to destroy reality?

[ that's rough, buddy ]

[foreverphantom]

No, me almost glitching out of existence completely was my...punishment, of sorts. This was a mercy. To keep me from disappearing.

[ he bites it out like a curse ]