HANS

[foreverphantom]

Comments

w0, friday

[foreverphantom]

[ we are in the tiger dorm!! danny walks over to a couch and throws himself face down onto one, grabbing a pillow and sandwiching his head between it and the couch

that's it, that's the prompt ]

[myadsharp]

[Hans, much like the actual cats around here somewhere, has become a Newtonian fluid on top of an anonymous but very loudly colored beanbag chair.



He’s tossing a plush fish around. Why is he like this.]

Mya-meow. Spent too long in the casino?

[That said, he is talking extra loud because both their ears are probably still ringing for a while.]

[foreverphantom]

More like it's following me. How am I still hearing it?!

[myadsharp]

From the sounds of it, the li’l raccoon guy messed up a few places on top of the casino, but I didn’t know he was a whole gunslinger too. He’s more impressive than I thought?

Was, anyway.

None o’ the boxes here are normal, either, so meowbe them machines are tryin’ to tell us something.

[Or he’s just being personally reprimanded for spending too long at slots, but that’s so many other people stuck in the casino punishment!]

[foreverphantom]

The boxes?

[myadsharp]

Have ya noticed?

[Lowering his voice despite the cha-ching and the doo-loo-loo and whatever else is going on in the background.]

Most o' the things here that've got the most meowsterious features are box-shaped.

[....... is he serious or is he just having a cat moment again, shrug.jpg.]

[foreverphantom]

...What are you talking about?

w0, sunday

[foreverphantom]

[ walks into the dorm all sweaty and a lil scraped up and covered in some like. gravel and dirt stains i guess?

he stomps over to his room, throws something into it violently before shutting the door, and then calmly walking into the living room and slumping onto a couch ]

[myadsharp]

Mya-meow?

[Hans pops up from... the literal cat tower at all the fracas of the thing being thrown, blinking in direction of the door before peeeerin' down at Danny. There's probably at least an actual cat or two up there, either on him or near him, so there's just a concerto of blinking going on.

The cats are probably more offended than Hans.]

What's goin' on, ya look like ya got into a fight with the ground.

[foreverphantom]

[ he looks up and just stares at hans for a second. how the hell is this cat tower supporting his weight. but okay. ]

Just...had some excess energy I needed to burn off.

[myadsharp]

[I was imagining like a jumbo cat tower because everything in the dorm is big and office-building sized, okay, maybe it's a mini cat office tower (or something).]

Lost a fight with yerself, then? Or got some sparrin' going.

[It's more casual speculation than a question, Hans humming as things calm down in catsville and everymeowdy else gets back to the extremely important business of napping or being elegantly bored.]

At least ya didn't go and get arrested, nyahaha! It was pretty bustlin' by that station last night, but it was a bigger party than I thought.

[foreverphantom]

I didn't lose. What, you've never worked up a sweat before?

...but yeah, I'm surprised so many of them tried to break in last night.

[myadsharp]

Not since the last time I went fiend-huntin'. Been a pretty good break, come to think of it, I coulda used another week o' that.

[He says this but he still looks like he's on vacation???]

Too many cooks spoils the pot, meow. This's the sort of thing ya do solo or with a couple distractions. [a shrug] That your first execution?

w1, friday

[foreverphantom]

[ well he is just vibing in the dorm's kitchen with a wedge of cheese, how are you today hans ]

me like, I tagged all my PCs right :shockedpika:

[myadsharp]

[Hans saunters in with two roombas under his arms -- he seems to have managed to wrangle both fish and knife at the least, and is blithely ignoring the amount of smoke and fishy terrible smell pouring from everything.

Impressively, they've also been properly de-activated, but since he's the one who brought them in in the first place perhaps it's not so surprising he at least knows the basics.

He's going to deposit them on the counter, because what's delicacy or sanitary treatment of kitchens considering what's going on here.]

Seems like all of ya had a pretty rowdy party last night.

[Danny and the Roombas... is this really a good band name.]

[foreverphantom]

[ shrugs casually ] Eh. Not that rowdy, or there'd be more carnage.

[ raising an eyebrow ] You cleaned them all up?

[myadsharp]

Nyahihi... Hard to have carnage with all the cats out, an’ the place is always a mess anyway.

[He does not seem to have an issue with this.

Also just for the record the knife is still perfectly secured on the roomba, he’s just removed the fish to bin it and now he’s poking at the roomba’s smoking parts. Hmm.]

Way I see it, just gotta make sure they’re workin’ right, but I’m pretty sure they ain’t supposed to be smoking this way.

[foreverphantom]

Well if the roomba is smoking, that's not my fault.

[myadsharp]

Meow, there's plenty o' smoke to go around, so I gotta wonder what's you an' what's the roombas around here.

[This is like when you leave the youngest child with the family pets and come back to the house on fire but like, slightly less fire and slightly more pet problems.

Hans just. Pours water onto the roomba because he doesn't know how electronics work but he does know what you do for smoke. F for this roomba, it served them well.]

Seems like they worked pretty hard, though, with the dorms this week.

[The dorm was so much this week.]

w2, saturday

[foreverphantom]

[ walking into hans's shiny new prison cell ]

Well...how's it feel to be a "villain"?

[myadsharp]

[Wow, you can't come in here, this is a single-occupancy cell. Hans just cackles at him, he's probably lounging, I think there's a cot.]

Nyahaha! Most people woulda called me one anyway. Ain't many assassins out there people try to make into heroes for whatever reason.

[Yeah, who knows why? He thinks this is hilarious.]

[foreverphantom]

Yeah, well, you and me both, but here we are.

[ his expression is sour, but his mouth turns up just a little bit in a jaded grin ]

Looks like people always figure it out in the end, though, huh? Even if you didn't do it, they could still tell you qualified as a "villain."

[myadsharp]

Meow, what, the hero part?

[Danny is probably not a secret assassin but hey, stranger things have happened.

Hans watches his expression curiously; White Tiger really is a strange little conclave of People Stuck With Each Other.]

Don't matter what qualifies as a villain or not, ya know. This one was all about which of the options they liked better. [he doesn't seem bitter about that, it's a mix of amusement and matter of fact discussion] Same with the whole thing -- there ain't no real reason to vote fer the right one, so it's goin' to be a bloodbath, I'm thinkin'.

[foreverphantom]

Yeah.

[ his arms are folded, and as hans continues talking, he seems to hunch in on himself a little more ] I guess you're right. "Which option they liked better"... I guess it pays off to play nice.

People like Reigen a lot more than they like you.

[myadsharp]

Meow. What're you then, do ya think?

[More of that curiosity, careless and catlike.

It's hard to say if he's actually interested or just passing the time, but there's plenty of it while he's stuck here, anyway.]

Don't always matter to play nice, 'cause then ya might just get killed off by somebody who ain't. Just gotta use what you've got. [he should not be giving advice but here he is regardless] If yer talking about Reigen, though, seems like his job an' all's got a lot to do with people. Mine ain't really like that.

[Well. Assassins also deal with people just. You know. ☆]