foreverphantom | JIAOQIU

[ we are in the kitchen! Dan, newly outfitted along with a variety of spiked bracelets, is idly grabbing knives out of the cutlery drawer and throwing them at the opposite wall

none of them are sticking on account of the wall is brick. two of the knives have slightly dented tips, but all five of them are just in a small sad pile as they fall to the counter. ]

[ ougughhghg he is Offended by this

jiaoqiu, in his tragically boring canon outfit, comes into the kitchen to make food, as you do, and then stops and watches dan do this. after a moment, he just marches right over and attempts to take dan by the wrist before he can throw the knife. yes, this is dangerous. no, he does not care. ]

What are you doing, child.

[ he is now being held by his bony, bony wrist! he tries to tug out of jiaoqiu's grip, but i'm not even gonna roll for it and say that he's too weak for it ]

What do you care? What are you, the police?

No, I'm worse.

[ he says, huffily. he does not drop dan's wrist. sorry for his cold fingers. ]

The knives are less useful when they have been thrown at a brick wall. What is the point of this?

[ grits his teeth for a moment, deciding how much of a fight he wants to (or can) put up. He tries to yank his wrist free again. ]

Can't a guy blow off some steam?

There are plenty of other ways to blow off steam that don't involve destruction of public property. Other people use these things, you know.

[ he will let go finally, though. his ear flicks. ]

I can find you something to do if you're that desperate.

Oh, great. Just what I wanted, being convenient to someone else. I love being given permission to do things.

If you'd like to be treated like an adult, you'll act like one.

Would you like to help me cook something?

[ purses his lips ]

And why would I want to do that?

You'll get to eat some of it when we're finished.

That's not as much of an incentive as you think.

No? You don't like food?

No.

Are you being contrary because you don't like me?

While that is something I would do, no. I'm being truthful right now.

Interesting. Will you tell me why?

Because it's disgusting. The sounds and sensations of chewing, the textures, the--swallowing, and the digestion. It's foul.

... Oh, I see. You're not accustomed to a physical form.

A heliobus managed to find its way to the afterlife. Curious.

A what?

And I'll have you know I've been in the afterlife. Not being dead was actually the unusual part.

A spirit that possesses bodies.

[ he sounds exactly like the one heliobus that jiaoqiu has met it's so funny, it's the only reason he's saying it ]

This is a much different death than you're used to, then?

...oh. Well then in that case, yes, that's not too far off.

Normally by now I would've left the body behind and returned to being a ghost. But I guess this time they wanted to find more creative ways of making me suffer.

You must really hate your form if this is suffering.

I'm dead and I don't even get the benefits that come with it.

And I'm still stuck looking like a weak child.

I'm going to be very disappointed in how old you actually are, aren't I.

[ glares ]

Silence is such a resoundingly loud answer.

Is there anything you enjoy, then?

[ looks off to the side, glaring at nothing ]

...not anymore.

[ hmmm. silence, for a moment. ]

I understand. [ simply. genuinely. ] Would you be interested in trying to find something?

[ hunches in on himself a little bit ]

I doubt there'll be anything.

That sounds like you're letting those who torment you win. [ he settles his arms behind his back, folding them. ] I'd find something out of spite, if I were in your position.

[ yeah, you've got his fuckin number already. he unhunches a bit, tentative. ]

Maybe. But that's...easier said than done.

[ sometimes insight is the only thing you're good at ]

Hmm. Well, you like destruction, it seems. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[ scoffs ]

For all that I can even manage to destroy at all, limited like this.

You certainly wreaked havoc on my knives.

[ since when are they your knives, jiaoqiu ]

There are some foods that explode spectacularly when you hit them with something solid. Have you ever splattered a watermelon before?

[ shrugs ] Probably.

[ a watermelon was probably collateral damage during his rampages at some point ]

Not stimulating enough for you, it seems.

[ taps his chin... ] Did you have any interests before you died?

Before which death?

Either. [ ... ] Any.

[ adjusts ]

Before any of them, I was two completely separate people.

[ he really is a heliobus... ]

I see. Were you always a spirit, before?

I was, yes.

But before I was me, those people were human once.

Edited 2025-02-10 01:23 (UTC)

They must have had likes and dislikes.

What is that like? Are you a combination of them both, now?

I'm...

...they were at odds with each other. Them as people, as well as their likes and dislikes.

That must be difficult. Like a constant war in your head.

[ is that....sympathy?! HISSSSSSSS ]

It's fine.

[ every time he snaps at jiaoqiu he's getting another year taken off his life. benjamin buttons him ]

I'm sure it is. That's why you're skulking about in the kitchen throwing temper tantrums?

Here's a better question: how are you just okay with the fact that we're trapped and powerless and entirely at some other faceless person's whims right now?

[ a hum. ]

I chose to die. These are my consequences, I suppose. [ ... ] I don't have an answer for you. It doesn't matter what happens to me now.

[ purses his lips and stares for a moment. ]

Well, then you can't really judge those of us who still care, can you?

Now, where did I say that I was judging you?

There's more ways to say something than just out loud.

Assuming makes an ass out of you, specifically. I'm not judging you, child. You would know if I was.

I'm glad that you still care. Genuinely. Someone should.

Wh--I didn't--!!

[ shit, he did say he cared, didn't he? fuck!!!! ]

Just...don't call me 'child.'

[ hehe ]

What would you like me to call you instead?

I don't know. Nothing. Just not that.

I have to refer to you somehow, unfortunately for you. And I assure you that you do not want me to pick a name for you.

...Charlie's been calling me Brimstone.

Do you like that name?

It's better than any other option I've heard so far.

[ and he does actually quite like it. because of course he fucking does. ]

[ it is appropriately hot topic ]

Then I will call you Brimstone until you change your mind.

[ just. looks at him suspiciously. like he's waiting for there to be some kind of catch. ]

[ patiently kind of just goes like ? no catch... he's serious!! ]

What?

That's it?

Yes. You want to be called this. I see no reason to be disrespectful.

I'm a strategic bastard, Brimstone. Not a universal one.

There's a difference?

I'm sorry that you are not wise enough to see the difference.

Sorry that you're not wise enough to realize there is no difference, you're just splitting hairs.

[ i don't care where we are

but wherever it is, the second he spots jiaoqiu, he is going to approach him from behind and try to get a handful of that fluffy ass tail ]

[ HELP ME

well, he can do this, but jiaoqiu's instinct is to bite whatever is touching his tail, which he will attempt to do with a 13, and also a small yelp. ]

[ well i rolled an 8, so he is unable to avoid getting bitten and shouts in surprise, even if it's not that bad of a bite

but it does trigger his own instincts to bite back, which he tries to do with a 14 ]

[ OKAY WELL THERE'S A SEVEN so we're just

biting each other i guess. wild. he's a noodle though so like, any wrestling is not going to happen, he'll die immediately. roughhousing just means that he makes a sound like his tail has been stepped on and he crumples. ]

[ he's a noodle too but one with a lot of spite and determination

he does stop when he notices jiaoqiu crumple like that, though. He doesn't quite get off him, but he does pull himself up a bit to better inspect his fluffy bite victim. ]

What? I barely even did anything!

[ the youth these days are full of sass...

anyway, jiaoqiu has a bunch of bandages under his clothes - they peek out from under the outfit he's wearing. he doesn't try to get up or move, just grimaces. ]

Mmf. It isn't your fault. [ he says, tightly. ] Just... a few remaining wounds. Please don't reopen them.

[ glances down in surprise ]

Remaining wounds? From what?

My death was not a particularly kind one. [ he says, with a huff. ]

It rarely is.

[ huffs and flops over, rolling off of jiaoqiu to be practically shoulder to shoulder with him ]

...so injuries from death follow us into Heaven? Doesn't seem very heavenly.

[ ...reaches up and starts stroking the fluffy ears ]

[ he lets out a little oof. rests his hand on his chest, grimacing still. ]

Gamaliel told me that it was because redemption often brings emotional pain, and it would be too difficult to differentiate between the two.

[ normally he would just straight up bite again but affection week means he kind of just... leans into the pets... disgruntlement. ]

-- You might ask first.

[ makes a sound somewhere between a huff and blowing a raspberry ]

Sounds stupid and made up. Sounds like they just dropped your body down the stairs bringing you over here and are just covering for it now.

[ hmph. the fact that jiaoqiu is leaning into it might normally make him immediately stop, because god forbid he do anything that someone else likes, but right now he's satisfied to just keep petting. and add some scritching into the mix. ]

But I didn't. And it's not like you're doing anything about it.

Yes, they dropped my body down the stairs and it perfectly reproduced the claw and fang wounds that killed me. You must be right.

[ dryly. he's going to keep leaning, but then he gets taunted and he forces himself to squirm away, grouchy. he hurts and he is a bitch when he's in pain, nyeh. ]

Brat.

[ rolls his eyes ] Fine, they dropped your body into a pit of wolves bringing you over here. Same difference.

[ smirks a lil at jiaoqiu squirming away. oh this is fun ]

I thought you said you were going to call me Brimstone.

Brimstone is your name. Brat is an adjective.

[

eartouches again ]

[ WAUGH

whacks him with his tail. it's like being hit with a mop. ]

[ shoves the mop into his mouth. not biting. just in mouf. ]

[ WHY ]

Are you a dog? That can't taste good.

Nothing tastes good. I might as well eat your tail.

Find something else to chew on. It isn't even food!

It could be if I were determined enough.

[ well. here is this sad pathetic thing. he's barely moved since the fight, only to shove himself into a corner around the back of the mansion.

he's just laying here curled up in a tight little ball facing the mansion wall. ]

[ aw, buddy. jiaoqiu would be lying if he didn't think he didn't deserve it at least a little, but he's unfortunately a squishy thing on the inside, so he comes to check.

he folds his arms, standing close by. he'd crouch, but if he did he would never stand back up again. ]

Is your head bothering you, or are we pouting?

[ morosely: ] What do you want?

To talk to you. Trust me, I'm surprised as you are!

[ ok ]

Answer my question, please.

It doesn't matter.

It does, or I wouldn't waste my time.

Come now. Is it because Saber beat you?

It's because I'm weak and pathetic!

Don't be so dramatic. You picked a fight and you lost. Now you know better.

You're right, I do know. I lost because I'm weak and pathetic!

[ he's got the brock from pokemon thing going on but there's a sense that he's rolling his eyes ]

Throwing a fit like this is what is pathetic. Take your defeat with some grace. [ he folds his arms behind his back. ] Does this help you? I don't see how it could.

Edited 2025-02-12 04:35 (UTC)

What grace is there in being this? I can't even win a simple skirmish. I'm no better than a worm.

Oh, please. There must be more to you than hitting things with your fists. You have a brain, don't you?

A brain is nothing without the strength to enforce your will in the world. And I have none.

I might as well be nothing.

[ sighs.

he sits down. ]

You lost one fight, with someone who is likely far older than either of us and trained in martial arts. You're giving up and becoming a puddle on the floor because of this?

They aren't that skilled. I'm just that feeble. I'm a worthless wretch.

[ i had to start googling for synonyms of weak and pathetic ]

Edited 2025-02-12 05:47 (UTC)

[ help THIS ICON ]

This is why I thought you were a child, you know. [ huff. ] If you're fishing for someone to compliment you, it won't be me.

What were you trying to accomplish by picking a fight?

[ i needed another icon i could swap with my limited supply of depression icons!!

anyway, he rolls over just enough to glance at jiaoqiu over his shoulder ]

I have nothing left to me. Not my strength, not my body, not my family, not my timeline...and then, because of that...whatever they did to me, not even my own thoughts.

What else is even left, after that? All I could do was fight. Keep my grasp on what little remained.

Now I can't even do that. [ curls back up into his depression ball ] It would've been better to let me die and stay dead than to bring me here.

Edited 2025-02-12 06:04 (UTC)

[ his ear flicks. and after a moment, his tail comes up and flops over danstone's waist, like a weighted blanket. if he puts it anywhere near his mouth jiaoqiu will pull it away, but for now it stays. ]

I understand what it's like to be tired. [ he says, and his voice is a touch more gentle. ] I also have thought that it would be better to have stayed dead.

But we are not. And for now, we can't change that. For now, we are here, and we are breathing, and there is still yet something.

I cannot fix your timeline or your body, and nor can I replace your family, but I can remind you that strength is not only found in how well you can throw a punch. If you'd like to find purpose somewhere, I am willing to help you.

You can give up, too. I won't stop you. You deserve the choice. It belongs to you and you alone.

[ he's too depressed to chew on tail 8C

glances over his shoulder again. it's a long considering moment where he's silent. ]

...how? To get all those things. [ strength and purpose. ]

[ sir, your depression ]

You must promise not to scoff if I tell you. Give my suggestions a chance before you brush them off as weak or pathetic, hm?

[ sighs so, so heavily, so put upon, and slowly rotates himself until he is fully face first in the dirt.

muffled: ]

Fine.

[ reaches over to tousle his hair ]

Before, when I was alive, I was a healer on the battlefield. I spent every day of my life bandaging wounds, easing fevers, setting broken bones - all for those who would, the second they recovered, get back up and go out to do it all over again. After years of watching good soldiers throw away my efforts to keep them alive, I quit.

What, I asked, was the purpose of a healer, if those I healed refused to hold onto life?

[ a pause. ]

Years later, a former master of mine came to tell me that a General needed my help. And over time, her purpose became my purpose.

[ a sigh, here. ]

My suggestion, Brimstone, is to see what gives others their drive to live. If you cannot find something yourself, copy someone else's work until you find what works.

[ it is incredibly funny to me that the guy whose life got ruined for copying test answers is now being told to fix his life by copying someone else ]

...and how do you do that? [ find out what drives other people and adopt their motivations as his own ]

[ help it comes full circle ]

Well, you'll need to try to get along with the others. [ wryly. ] Which means not throwing punches or causing scenes.

For now, are there any people here that you don't despise?

...

Charlie. Marcoh. Waner.

[ perhaps even jiaoqiu. but you'd have to torture that out of him. ]

[ that's fair i feel like you'd have to torture that information out of most people ]

Those are all very dedicated people. You can ask them what gave them purpose in life. But - if that's too difficult, or you'd prefer not to, just observe them. See what brings them joy, and then try it for yourself.

You don't need to do it in front of them if it makes you feel like a numbskull.

[ wow, this almost sounds...doable? within his limits?

the thought that he could actually do something to improve himself is terrifying though.

he's silent for a few moments before he eventually grunts. the grunt is supposed to mean "okay." ]

[ jiaoqiu's smile is always there, but it's a little more genuine at this. he keeps his tail draped over him, and pats him on the back. ]

Good. Would you keep me updated? I'd like to hear about what you try, if you do.

[ another vaguely affirmative grunt ]

In the meantime, I'll try to find something you might like to eat, since you will need to do that here.

[ another grunt, this one much less affirmative ]

[thwaps him gently with his tail. ]

Use your words.

...the only thing that isn't completely disgusting is Cheerios.

That gives me something to work with. Is it the texture?

It's bland. And dry.

So nothing too flavorful. And you don't like the sensation of chewing, I do remember that. Nothing too wet...

Have you tried any sorts of cheeses?

[ he can hardly believe jiaoqiu is actually taking this seriously ]

...no. Not since becoming human again.

[ food is medicine!! and he wants to help... ]

Hm, then... perhaps you'll like that, or grilled cheese? That is essentially toast, which can be quite dry and bland.

I remember toast. I remember hating it.

[ this is actually canon. although most fans like to exaggerate it to a violent hatred and even trauma. around toast. ]

[ a snort. ]

Of course. [ NOT THE TOAST TRAUMA it's fine jiaoqiu didn't think it was going to be that easy. ]

I doubt you'd like pasta...

[ just. makes this face. with whatever grossed out noise best accompanies it. ]

That's what I thought.

Hmm... let me continue to think on it. I'll find something. [ thwaps him with his tail again. ] So picky.

Yeah, well, you go 12 years without ever needing to eat and suddenly have to do it again.

Edited (my GRAMMAR) 2025-02-14 04:31 (UTC)

[ silence, for just a moment, like he's debating, and then: ]

It was only after I stepped off the battlefield that I found a liking for spicy foods. It's the only thing I can taste anymore.

I do hope you find something you like. It'd be a shame to lose out on the joy good food can bring you.

[ the concept of 'liking' something and experiencing 'joy' sound fake and stupid to him but this is already fairly well established so let's not bother relitigating it beyond an eyeroll ]

How does coming back from war ruin your taste?

[ like. the tastebuds and need to eat never went away. ]

[ his ear flicks. ]

Everything is dull. Life lost its flavor. [ so like, depression basically ] Do you actually care?

[ that's not accusatory so much as it's idle. ]

...about what?

About why I lost my sense of taste.

...I was curious. You've always had the same body with the same needs. I wanted to know how someone like that ends up in a similar position to mine.

[ that makes sense to him. he tilts his head back a little. ]

The mind is often more powerful than the body. Physically, there's nothing wrong with me.

Hmm.

...ghosts are very much the same. The body is just whatever the mind thinks it should be. Literally, mind over matter.

Then, perhaps we are a little more similar than either of us expected. What a nightmare for you.

[ scoffs ] More like a nightmare for you.

You don't scare me.

And you don't scare me. [ AN IMPASSE. ]

Well, then perhaps it's not a nightmare after all.

[ guess who's here! here, being the soundstage

it's this asshole, screaming himself hoarse as he makes the hugest mess that he can. Throwing vinyl records to the floor, smashing them to the ground, not caring if the shards slice him up.

it's fine, because he's already injured! Bloody knuckles and an absolutely massive swollen black eye. ]

[ oh buddy

jiaoqiu can hear him from a mile away, and when he comes up, he rubs at his face briefly before just. standing a bit away. far enough that he isn't going to get sliced, theoretically, though he can't stop brimstone from hitting him if he's gonna. ]

Brimstone. [ sharp, like knuckles rapped against a desk. but not unkind. ]

[ the screaming becomes barely comprehensible for a ] Shut up! [ before he continues on his merry way ]

I will not.

[ okay

well, he's going in, he supposes. he's going to try and stop him from hurting himself, at the very least, trying to grab for his wrists. if he gets injured so be it. ]

[ jiaoqiu will be able to grab his wrists pretty easily, but he is going to thrash to try to escape the hold ]

Let me go!

[ he holds on! he's got a decently strong grip. ]

No. I don't want you to hurt yourself, and neither would she.

Spare me the sentimental garbage!

[ tries kicking at jiaoqiu's legs!! ]

[ ow!! his legs!! i'm not rolling for this there's no way he could dodge ]

It isn't sentimental on my end. It's practicality. [ wrestles with him to try and make him stop!! ] We only have so many bandages, and I'd prefer you don't join the unresponsive.

[ he still tries to wriggle his way out of the grasp but yeah he's pretty wrestleable ]

Then don't bandage me! I didn't ask you!

Unfortunately, I refuse to let you make my job harder.

[ vaguely annoyed, as he just holds this kid like a straitjacket. ]

Why are we throwing a tantrum if we're not being sentimental, hm?

[ how dare you call him out like this ]

I'm not being sentimental, I'm angry!

[ does it more ]

Yes, yes. You're angry because Charlie made you feel sentimental, and you hate that sentimentality makes you feel weak and powerless. There's no reason to cause damage to yourself over this.

[ starts wriggling even more furiously ]

Shut up!!

[ keeps holding but also i rolled a 7 so do with that what you will ]

I'll keep talking as long as you keep destroying things.

Why do you care if I destroy things?!

[ well i also rolled a 7 so despite increased wriggling, he is still Contained ]

[ i was hoping that 7 was for this because it made me laugh ]

Because there is nobody here to clean them up any longer. [ flatly. but also: ] You are bleeding and bruised. Your destruction is leaking over, and I won't allow that.

Where did the black eye come from? Did you give that to yourself?

[ well with everything else going on, and the fact that he's so restrained right now, tears gather in the corner of his eyes and he jumps to the next level of urgent action: biting

i rolled a 12 but he is absolutely trying to bite down on jiaoqiu's arms to get him to let go ]

[ i hate dice rolls i got a 17 but i'm not respecting it because he's still injured so what i'm gonna say happens here is he's going to tighten his grip, but that means that he gets super fucking bitten on the arm. ]

Stop that. [ this is. really not the way to handle someone like this, and he knows it, but he's afraid the self harm is going to get worse if he lets go. ]

Calm down, and I'll let go of you.

Let go of me, and I'll calm down!!

[ there's a pause, and then -

he does, he lets go, carefully. he doesn't go far. ]

[ and as he is let go, he doesn't do anything. he does, indeed, seem to have calmed down. even his panting is coming down to more even breaths.

...he does still kick a vinyl record on the ground though. ]

[ silence, for a moment, as he watches where brimstone is standing. he waits for the panting to calm to mostly even. ]

Will you let me bandage your hands?

...save your stupid bandages, if they're so precious.

No, this is their purpose. There's no need to save them when they're needed.

Will you let me bandage your hands? Yes or no.

[ watches jiaoqiu ]

...no.

Alright.

[ he keeps his hands where they can be seen. ]

Will you allow me to walk you through bandaging them yourself?

I don't want them bandaged at all.

Why not?

...it feels better, when it hurts.

[ well - that's not... unfamiliar, is the thing. he's said the same thing himself, in the past. ]

Mm. Well, let me assure you, it'll still hurt even with the bandages. It'll hurt more with disinfectant. [ ... ]

I understand. I know you may not think so, but I do.

[ sighs ]

...alright, fine.

[ tilts his head. ]

Shall I do it, or will I explain the process to you?

[ he ain't gonna touch dan again until he says it's fine, now that he's not actively throwing a fit ]

You can do it.

[ a little nod... and then he'll dig around in his bag for bandages. they're strips of fabric, more than anything, but they'll work. he's also got little disinfectant wipes that he'll use.

he'll clean dan's hands for him, and he's not particularly gentle about it, though he's not violent about it either. just not sugarcoating his motions. ]

What happened to your eye?

[ he hisses a little during disinfecting, but otherwise makes no sound and allows this to happen

as for the eye, though... ]

...nothing.

[ bandages... it's a professional job. ]

... Well. You don't have to tell me, but I'd like to know if someone gave it to you. [ his tail flicks. ] Violence is an unacceptable first answer, no matter who is on the receiving end of it.

No.

[ is that a no to someone giving it to him, or a no to telling jiaoqiu? ]

[ okay, despite everything he's kind of amused. pats dan's hand after he's finished, and lets go of him entirely. though - he is looking him over, squinting, trying to see if he's cut up badly enough to warrant more bandages. ]

That is a supremely unhelpful answer. No, what?

[ i have no idea what jiaoqiu's threshold for 'more bandages' is. uhhh he's got some scrapes and bleeding cuts from vinyl debris i guess? ]

Just no.

[ eh, he'll survive. jiaoqiu will disinfect those too though, if he doesn't flinch away from it. ]

Smart mouth. [ nyeh!! he's not all that annoyed though. ] How does that feel? Can you move your hands alright?

[ he might reflexively jerk away from the disinfectant at first but he doesn't complain

he gives his bandaged hands an experimental flex. i'm assuming mr bandage man did a good job with his bandages, so ]

...yeah.

[ yeah he's good at his job ]

Good. I'll change them tomorrow, after we speak with the angels.

[ silence, for a moment. ]

Forgive me the sentimentality. But know you're not alone.

You're not forgiven.

[ but deep down he does appreciate it. perhaps if only because of affection week. ]

[ lol ]

... Since I can't imagine you want to talk about this, I'll leave you to it. But if you feel the urge to break anything on your own person, message me instead.

Why, so you can stop me?

So that I can bandage you after.

[ whatever jiaoqiu doing in the kitchen, i guess the guy officially known now as brimstone finds him. and launches himself at him like heathcliff.

i'm sorry ]

[ well

he dies ]

[ more seriously he does get knocked down, he has no resistance to this. he does bite out of instinct though ]

[ he yowls against the bite and has to pause to shake out his bitten hand

but then he's going in to punch jiaoqiu wherever he can manage to get a hit in--although he's loosely aiming for the face ]

[ help me well i rolled at a disadvantage because he is one, still injured, and two, very tired from today, so the two that he rolled means that brimstone can just beat the shit out of him if he wants

he just kind of takes it ]

Where do you get the nerve to call me an idiot when you try to take the fall for someone else's murder, you air-brained buffoon!

[ winces.

and then: ]

You won't like any explanation I give you.

[ pretend i said biscuit-brained buffoon in the last tag, i only came up with that one in the shower and couldn't edit it in smh ]

Of course I won't! You have the gall to try and put a life jacket on me at every turn, and then try to throw yourself overboard into shark-infested waters?! [ punches him again in fury ]

You don't get to be a hypocrite like that!

[ help what a great insult

he takes that punch - he's probably bleeding, at this point. ]

... His redemption is far more important than mine. You don't need to agree with me.

[ can't wait for him to show up to execution already covered in bruises and blood

can't wait for him to be executioner like this ]

Sure. You're trying to keep every dirtbag here from tearing themselves and each other apart, but the murderer is the one who deserves redemption more.

[ everybody is so sure of this and i just really think it'd be funny if i wasn't ]

He -- [ jiaoqiu starts. and then breathes in. and out. ] No. He is a murderer. But that's precisely why he could use the redemption.

It isn't about him, so much as it is what he represents.

[ oh my fucking god. ]

Oh yeah? And what does he represent, exactly?

The safety and stability of my people back home.

He is responsible for thousands.

So just because he's "important" and "responsible" that means he can get away with whatever he wants? [ scoffs ]

I don't care. He killed Charlie. The least he can do is pay the price for it.

No, that isn't what that means. What it means is that if he could be redeemed here, my home would be far more safe.

You don't understand. You are only responsible for yourself. [ he doesn't say this like an insult or anything, just a statement. ] I don't think he's above reproach.

But the world is not so black and white.

[ well. punches him again. ]

Your "home." [ scoffs, again. ] If you had your way, it would basically stop existing, as far as you know. You'd never be able to see it again. Anything he might do for a place that no longer exists means nothing anyway!

Stop being stupid.

[ STOP PUNCHING HIM HE'S SO BRUISED

he doesn't say anything else about the rest because it's immovable object versus unstoppable force. just stares at brimstone ]

If you punch me again I'm going to bite you.

Then maybe next time don't try to sacrifice yourself for no reason.

[ but yeah he doesn't punch. he also doesn't get off of jiaoqiu. ]

It wasn't for no reason.

[ argues because he can't help himself, but also: ]

Were you planning on staying there forever?

Depends. Are you going to do something stupid if I get up?

If I say no, are you going to believe me?

I'll give you a chance to prove yourself.

[ so. i guess he's just going to. ease off. and watch jiaoqiu so carefully. ]

[ wherever we are, he hunts jiaoqiu down and yeets a bag of frozen peas at him ]

[ SORRY I TOOK FOREVER

anyway the peas hit him where he's curled up on his bed in his room. ]

... Will you please stop throwing things at me. [ exhausted. ]

No.

Fix yourself. [ gestures vaguely at the bag of peas and then him overall ]

Considering half of these injuries are from you...

[ grumbles. but he takes the peas and holds them to his face, for now. ]

You have a wonderful bedside manner.

I don't trust you to not screw yourself over somehow.

[ hence why he's here, throwing peas at you and making sure you use them. ]

[ a little laugh. ]

I know my limits.

Uh-huh. Sure you do.

[ completely sarcastic. ]

I haven't moved from this bed since Basilio put me here, Brimstone.

[ ear flick. ]

Are you worried?

No.

[ although at this point, both of them know that's a lie. ]

[ you fool uruha told him that you were feral at the barrier ]

I'll take care of myself. You can worry less.

[

]

And how do I know you're not just going to throw yourself at the next stupid idea you come across?

Because General Jing Yuan is dead, and I have no reason to.

[ he watches him for a moment. ]

We would not be having this conversation if I weren't inclined to take on stupid ideas for no benefit to myself.

[ well. there's nothing he can say to that so he just huffs and looks away ]

[ hehe ]

Thank you, Brimstone. [ kills him with genuineness ]

I'm going to throw more peas at you.

I was stabbed today. Peas are nothing.

That's what you're saying now.

I'm not sure if you're threatening me or not.

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Do you want to risk it to find out?

[ makes a cat no like banana face... no... he doesn't ]

[ hehehehe

that's right, you self-sacrificial lil bitch ]

[ i was joking about the grinch earlier but fuck it let's actually do that, his hair is now grinch green and styled to match. so i guess kinda jimmy neutron-esque???

he's also got the weird pointed furry seuss fingers. which looks kinda weird through the fingerless gloves of his outfit.

he is at the christmas tree where he spots his own gift. and just. immediately stomps on it to crush it into the snow. ]

[ looks

at him do this

thinks about not approaching, and then sighs and heads over. he's see-through today, like a ghost. haha, wild. ]

Surely it can't be that bad.

[ is he glaring at him bc he hates christmas, or is he glaring at him bc he's jealous that jiaoqiu is looking more ghostly than him? ]

It's definitely not the worst. But it is bad. And the obnoxiousness makes it worse.

[ probably both, is jiaoqiu's guess. ]

Hm. Not a fan of holidays, then. Why's that? [ he's expecting a fuck you, but it's fine. ]

Bad memories.

Descriptive.

[ he'll move over to him, and peek down at the presents. ]

Do you have any good memories?

Of Christmas? No, none.

[ he only has a very basic idea of what christmas is, but context helps ]

What about in general?

...not since before I was me.

[ buddy... that makes him sad. ]

Mm. I suspected as much. [ ... ] Would you like to try to make some? As this you.

...how?

[ he thinks about that, hands folded behind his back. ]

I think that it is important to figure out who you are first. And then you can move from there.

[ scoffs ]

Yeah, like that's a feasible starting point.

It is. Knowing who you are makes finding purpose and fulfillment easier.

Can you describe yourself to me using any other word than violent?

[ oh this is horrible

this is the hardest homework he's ever been given and that's including the time he stole test answers and it ended up killing everyone he ever loved ]

...unyielding.

...desolate.

Edited 2025-02-18 06:36 (UTC)

[ GOD. god. okay. ]

... That's a start. [ he says, gently. ] You're strong. And you are persistent, even when you feel empty.

[ better words, or at least, trying to be better words. ]

But there's always a balance to these things. And sometimes, the scale tips too far in either direction. There is nothing wrong with that. It's how being alive works.

[ scoffs at being called "strong." as if. ]

And?

And my words are lost on you, for the most part, but I hope that eventually, they won't be. I won't tire of saying them. I like the sound of my own voice.

[ rolls his eyes because yeah, i bet you fuckin do, but ]

...if there's supposed to be a "balance" and I'm out of it, then how am I supposed to fix it?

[ he is pleased that he uses his words! ]

Well. You have to decide. Do you want to be unyielding? Do you want to be desolate?

[ is this even a real question ]

[ looks AT him continue to use your words ]

[ sighs distastefully ]

Unyielding, obviously unyielding!

You'll have to be a little less of that in order to be happy, I think. Being able to bend is important.

But - that is a path. You don't want to be desolate. So you'll need to do things that counteract it. Have you found someone you want to copy yet?

...not entirely, no.

Not entirely?

There are...aspects of different people I want to take from...but no one as a whole.

That works as well. You can put together a person from different aspects.

Will you tell me which ones?

...Marcoh.

[ he does not want to offer up any of the other ones, though. ]

[ is it because jiaoqiu is one of them (no) ]

Marcoh is a fine person to model after. Though I do hope it isn't just because he's strong.

...it's part of it.

And what's the other part?

...he's stubborn. And straightforward.

[ he makes a face like he's eaten something disgusting--complimenting ppl is horrible ]

You are also stubborn. [ reaches to tap him against the side of the head, annoyingly. ]

Those can be good traits in moderation.

[ slaps his hand away

but i will give you a gift: he is not actually that bothered by it, which for him is the equivalent of getting huge warm fuzzies ]

I know. Hence why I picked him.

[ gasps... progress ]

Yes, but moderation is the most important part of that. [ hums. ] You're doing well. I'm proud of you.

[ he's a little less transparent now, but his fur is turning white in places. ]

[ i keep forgetting about our TRANSFORMATIONS

anyway neither he nor i know how to interpret this change. and it doesn't matter bc the words are enough to make him pucker his face ]

Ugh. Don't talk like that. You sound like an uncle. Or worse, a teacher.

[ we are in: the corgi car! brimstone just kind of stands there, watching it all happen before him. he's back in human form btw, not that jiaoqiu can apparently realize it ]

So this is what you all kept talking about.

[ brimstone's chao is playing with the corgis! ]

[ he can kind of see, a little, so at the very least he can tell that brimstone's hair is theoretically a different color. ]

I thought that you were all able to see things on this side. [ curiously. he watches the chao play with the corgis with an amused look.

he is staying. far away from the corgis, for the record. ]

[ lol. ]

Oh, we were. But it's different to actually see it in person. We got most of the same places you all did, eventually, but not this train.

I see. What was it like there?

[ curiously... ]

Everyone woke up in a cage hanging over a pool of red water. There was this chao-centric kindergarten. And then a bunch of gates to other places--mostly the same locations you had, but with a few things switched up.

Also, we immediately had our powers back. Not at full strength, but better than nothing.

[ goes ??? ]

A cage hanging over a pool of red water...? [ the fuck ] I imagine you've enjoyed having your powers.

In some ways, it was better than being on this side.

But now we get to keep our powers here too, so it's not as bad.

I am going to miss watching people fall into the water, though.

Of course you are. [ vaguely amused. ]

[ folds his arms. ]

I was told you missed me.

[ ALARM. ]

What?! Who said that?!

[ he is SO amused. ]

I actually have no idea. It was sent to me as an unaddressed letter.

[ hisses ] Coward.

Even if it wasn't, I wouldn't have told you. I don't intend to encourage more violence.

Well, they were lying.

[ emotionshare says that it was true, actually, ]

[ hehe. ]

I don't believe you! [ cheerfully. ] I missed you too, despite your very awful letters aimed to get a rise out of me.

A terrible and incomprehensible choice on your part.

I am known for making terrible choices.

Yeah, good luck getting redeemed after deciding to miss me, of all people.

I'm sure I've done quite enough to balance out whatever that is worth.

[ a beat, then: ]

I'm of half a mind to force you to apologize to the people you were terrorizing, but I think you would not be sincere in doing it.

[ scoffs ] I've been dead and isolated from all of you, who have I been terrorizing?

The other dead, so I hear. There were more of you than us, by the end of things.

Hear from who?! I've barely done anything! I didn't even kill Firefly!

Calm down.

[ tail swish. ]

You did tell me that. Again, I'm not giving names. And I can only tell you what I've heard - you'll have to fill me in on the rest.

Hmph. Whatever. It's what I'm best at anyway, I should just embrace it.

No.

[ thwacks him with his fan on the arm. not hard, just enough. ]

You should not. [ ... ] You do seem less angry.

[ shrugs a shoulder ] Having even some of my powers back helped keep me sane.

...that, and even I can't sustain nonstop rage for that long.

You certainly seemed ready to try.

Tell me about your powers? What can you do?

Oh, you know...

Fly, turn invisible and intangible, manipulate ectoplasm as energy blasts or as a solid constructed into whatever I want it to be, telekinesis, possession, and my Ghostly Wail. Just for starters.

[ he sounds soooooo fucking smug tallying these all off on his fingers ]

That's a large collection of abilities.

[ woah... he is suitably impressed. ]

A Ghostly Wail? Some sort of... stunning attack, perhaps?

[ PREENS under someone finally fucking appreciating his powers

he scoffs at the question tho ]

Stunning as an extension of wide-scale destruction, sure. I can level entire city blocks in one go with it. It's so strong that not even specially designed anti-ghost machinery can withstand it.

[ ...or it used to, at least. ]

[ jiaoqiu has like one whole ability total so it's pretty impressive!! ]

I see. [ ear flick. ] Well, I'm glad that it does not do so here. We don't need more destruction.

[ ... ]

So, you are physically strong again, but what about emotionally? Have you worked on what we talked about all those weeks ago?

...maybe.

[ which is really code for I don't know. ]

[ a little bit of amusement. ]

Maybe? What a vague answer... [ teases him ]

How can I possibly be the judge of that?!

Well, you could tell me what you've done since I haven't seen you.

I know that you did not kill Firefly. That is a bracing start.

...I got to be my old self a few times.

I wrote letters.

I let myself get talked out of killing people.

That's about it.

[ ...no, wait. there's one more. this one he says more hesitantly, awkwardly ]

I...started exercising.

[ there's a very quiet encouraging vibe, coming from him. ]

Exercising is good. Feixiao often tells me that it's good for the soul. [ jiaoqiu would rather die again than go on jogs, but he can appreciate the attempt, especially because brimstone seems a little more awkward about that one. ]

Those are all steps forward. Four steps, rather than zero. You've done well.

[ scoffs ] Like you would know. I've had to be talked out of murdering people repeatedly. I've encouraged others to murder each other there. I've destroyed plenty. As if those few measly things are enough to make a difference.

...and it's not good for the soul. It's awful and miserable the whole way through.

They do make a difference. You allowed yourself to be talked out of murder, instead of just trying it without caring what the others thought. You are not responsible for the actions of others. And destruction is annoying, but it's better than taking it out on people.

[ his ear flicks. ]

Exercising is like being a good person, sometimes. It can be awful and miserable to do, but the end result makes you feel much better.

... It is not an overnight process. You must allow yourself the small victories.

Edited 2025-04-03 03:58 (UTC)

...it's not about allowing myself anything, though.

[ judgement day is coming. he's not the one who gets to decide. ]

Mm.

[ he hums. ]

Well. You've made your choices, Brimstone. You are in control of what you do, and you always have been. [ softer. ] What do you want your end result to be?

...I just want to exist. By any means necessary.

Nobody will fault you for wanting to exist. But you must coexist. You must remember this - it will help you.

Your existence is not the only existence that matters.

[ he's silent for a few moments as he swallows his first several replies--mostly because he's already tread that ground with jiaoqiu ]

Well, I don't know how else to exist!

[ a little tail swish. ]

... I know that you have had a very long life of people trying to erase you. But you cannot always bite and still expect people to hold out their hands. You know this.

I will continue to do so, because I see something in you that I would like to encourage. But I am the exception to the rule, because I do not feel the teeth.

You get what you put in, Brimstone. Learn from what happens to you, don't just block it out.

What if I don't know how to put in anything else?

Well, then I'd ask you what exactly you thought the point of all of this was.

This was your chance to learn how to.

Mostly it just felt like another perverse form of jail.

...do you think friendship counts, by whatever rules God will be using?

They've been very clear about this being our chance to redeem ourselves.

[ he tilts his head, though, and reaches out to rest a hand on brimstone's arm, briefly. he misses the first time, but he manages. ]

There's a chance that it does. Did you make friends?

[ stares at the armtouch ]

...maybe. I don't really know what qualifies as friendship.

I don't know that I can define it.

[ he doesn't pull his hand away... ]

People who you don't hate being around, I suppose?

[ looking away... ]

...yeah. There's a few of those.

Well. You can ask, you know. If those people would consider you a friend.

[ finally pulls his arm away so that he can be properly aghast at the suggestion ]

Don't give me that look, it was only a suggestion.

I know that you're very tough and evil and mean, but I would consider us friends.

[ oh...that actually makes him relax on the inside, a lil ]

Even though we've barely spoken in weeks?

[ EVEN THOUGH HE BALDED YOU??? (not that jiaoqiu knows that as of this thread but still) ]

[ ok listen he will be very upset that he got balded because he was already so sad and it messed him up but that's not now so ]

Of course. Just because we've been separated doesn't mean that I forgot about you.

[ this is

actually so touching he forgets to even try to look unaffected by it ]

[ aw buddy!!!

a little smile. ]

I have been told that we will be able to keep in contact after all of this. I may not be able to visit you directly, but I wouldn't mind talking, when you'd like to.

JIAOQIU

w0, saturday

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w0, monday

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