[ there's a very quiet encouraging vibe, coming from him. ]
Exercising is good. Feixiao often tells me that it's good for the soul. [ jiaoqiu would rather die again than go on jogs, but he can appreciate the attempt, especially because brimstone seems a little more awkward about that one. ]
Those are all steps forward. Four steps, rather than zero. You've done well.
[ scoffs ] Like you would know. I've had to be talked out of murdering people repeatedly. I've encouraged others to murder each other there. I've destroyed plenty. As if those few measly things are enough to make a difference.
...and it's not good for the soul. It's awful and miserable the whole way through.
They do make a difference. You allowed yourself to be talked out of murder, instead of just trying it without caring what the others thought. You are not responsible for the actions of others. And destruction is annoying, but it's better than taking it out on people.
[ his ear flicks. ]
Exercising is like being a good person, sometimes. It can be awful and miserable to do, but the end result makes you feel much better.
... It is not an overnight process. You must allow yourself the small victories.
Well. You've made your choices, Brimstone. You are in control of what you do, and you always have been. [ softer. ] What do you want your end result to be?
... I know that you have had a very long life of people trying to erase you. But you cannot always bite and still expect people to hold out their hands. You know this.
I will continue to do so, because I see something in you that I would like to encourage. But I am the exception to the rule, because I do not feel the teeth.
You get what you put in, Brimstone. Learn from what happens to you, don't just block it out.
I have been told that we will be able to keep in contact after all of this. I may not be able to visit you directly, but I wouldn't mind talking, when you'd like to.
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I wrote letters.
I let myself get talked out of killing people.
That's about it.
[ ...no, wait. there's one more. this one he says more hesitantly, awkwardly ]
I...started exercising.
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Exercising is good. Feixiao often tells me that it's good for the soul. [ jiaoqiu would rather die again than go on jogs, but he can appreciate the attempt, especially because brimstone seems a little more awkward about that one. ]
Those are all steps forward. Four steps, rather than zero. You've done well.
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...and it's not good for the soul. It's awful and miserable the whole way through.
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[ his ear flicks. ]
Exercising is like being a good person, sometimes. It can be awful and miserable to do, but the end result makes you feel much better.
... It is not an overnight process. You must allow yourself the small victories.
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[ judgement day is coming. he's not the one who gets to decide. ]
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[ he hums. ]
Well. You've made your choices, Brimstone. You are in control of what you do, and you always have been. [ softer. ] What do you want your end result to be?
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Your existence is not the only existence that matters.
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Well, I don't know how else to exist!
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... I know that you have had a very long life of people trying to erase you. But you cannot always bite and still expect people to hold out their hands. You know this.
I will continue to do so, because I see something in you that I would like to encourage. But I am the exception to the rule, because I do not feel the teeth.
You get what you put in, Brimstone. Learn from what happens to you, don't just block it out.
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This was your chance to learn how to.
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...do you think friendship counts, by whatever rules God will be using?
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[ he tilts his head, though, and reaches out to rest a hand on brimstone's arm, briefly. he misses the first time, but he manages. ]
There's a chance that it does. Did you make friends?
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...maybe. I don't really know what qualifies as friendship.
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[ he doesn't pull his hand away... ]
People who you don't hate being around, I suppose?
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...yeah. There's a few of those.
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I know that you're very tough and evil and mean, but I would consider us friends.
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Even though we've barely spoken in weeks?
[ EVEN THOUGH HE BALDED YOU??? (not that jiaoqiu knows that as of this thread but still) ]
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Of course. Just because we've been separated doesn't mean that I forgot about you.
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actually so touching he forgets to even try to look unaffected by it ]
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a little smile. ]
I have been told that we will be able to keep in contact after all of this. I may not be able to visit you directly, but I wouldn't mind talking, when you'd like to.