If that's what you want, sure. [ idly said. ] If it makes you feel better, somebody's probably gonna bald somebody else or something by tomorrow and everybody really will forget about it.
[ ...but. ]
Are you good? [ like. this is a genuine question, he is mildly concerned. ]
[ he's silent and looking away for a while, to the point that it almost seems like he's not going to answer. but then, quietly: ]
...I'm more used to being a ghost than a human. It was bad enough here to begin with, being...fully human again, but at least I still had some bit of my old powers, however little.
[ ...honestly? he does and he does not get it, because he's always been a half-blood even when he didn't remember it at the time. he's never been fully mortal, but being here without access to his regular powers has left him pretty uncomfortable.
even if he doesn't fully understand, he can relate enough. he has an idea, really, of how disorienting (not to mention vaguely terrifying) this actually would be for someone like danny. ]
Like being shoved back into a body that isn't really yours anymore and being forced to relearn how to do even the basics of living. You know it's you, but it doesn't feel like you, so everything that happens comes out feeling like...a loss of control. Something like that?
[ sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't surprise him that he's able to at least figure out what danny's thinking and he feels like this is both good and bad. bad, because...well. it sucks? literally having any sort of identity crisis is terrible. but it's good because he thinks maybe that means he can try to help in whatever way he can and it's why he settles for a nod to that. ]
That's a lot of how it feels for us when our powers start to manifest, and it wasn't any easier here when I got something I'm not used to. [ so. similar but not completely, in his opinion. ] The thing that made you you is no longer yours, so it's like...are you still you? It gets really complicated to think about too long but it still completely sucks. It's like every time I turn around something in this stupid city is ready to test my patience and see how long it takes before I start causing rolling blackouts or something.
Those are the parts I try not to think about for too long. It gets...messy.
But more than that, it's...strange, having a normal heartbeat and body temperature again. I've been trying to...stay cool about it and be normal, but losing my intangibility is a step too far.
And when things are messy it makes everything else way harder to focus on. [ hence why nico also tries not to linger, or at least brood on his own. ]
The real problem with this place is that we really don't get enough time to deal with what's changing before something else happens. We've been here a month, and we're supposed to already be adjusted to these things changing a huge part of who we are whether that's giving us new powers or taking away old ones or changing our entire genetics. And on top of that, we're supposed to deal with people killing each other every where, the weird things that happen to us every week, and now...whatever this is. I don't see how anybody can really be completely okay right now.
[ faking it. everybody can fake it, but honestly people are going to be pushed too far. ]
The good thing, if you can call it that, is that if it's anything like the other stuff this is only gonna last a week. Whatever made everybody switch around has to revert us and you'll get your intangibility back. [ but he knows that's still a longass week. ] The downside is we still have to get through a whole bunch of stuff to get that far. But hey. A small mercy, maybe?
[ he doesn't sound thrilled, and he doesn't even actually figure out what he's swapped to until tuesday. ]
Good. Will and I usually stay outside of our dorms if we can help it just in case something different happens. But I don't think we've even thought about where to go yet. And usually it's with a lot of other people.
I know what you're probably thinking and...it actually hasn't been that bad? Surprisingly. Most people still do their own thing but the company's been kinda nice.
Don't tell anyone, I still have a reputation to uphold. [ he shakes his head. ] ...I think it's probably easier on Will if I am, and a lot of the people I've met here actually aren't bad.
Mmhmmm. [ he says through a sip of his coffee. ] I think I mentioned before that not everyone is comfortable around people like me. Children of Hades, I mean. I lived on my own for a while, but when I did stick around for short periods of time, eventually it always kind of felt like...I shouldn't be there? Like being there threw off the dynamic everyone wanted and I overstayed my welcome. So I'd leave again, they'd need my help, rinse and repeat.
[ his thumb idly taps on the table while the other hand keeps his head propped up. ]
It got better last year. But it's still...difficult, sometimes, to really know how a person's going to react. As it turns out a lot of people here actually are more than willingly to accept things. Weird experience. [ the last bit is said kind of as a joke, but it was pretty disorienting at first to really be able to talk to people. ]
Pretty sure it has something to do with how you approach it. [ sometimes you hate everything about a city but then you end up self-reflecting about stuff. or, more accurately, you did a lot of self-reflecting before you got kidnapped to a dumb city and have been grappling with that on and off. ]
There're some people I'll mention necromancy to and I can tell they want to crawl out of their skin. And it's kind of funny but I also understand it. But then there're the people who...probably know more than I actually ever wanted them to know in the first place, and being honest about it meant their limits changed to something better than I thought. I'm not saying that's, like, an answer? Actually I probably would've been fine not being as perceived as I have been so far, but the point is you don't really know weird limits until you let people try to understand them.
Yeah, it's pretty gross. [ he's not a fan! ] It's...you don't have to trust them entirely, but being open to it makes it easier. As much as I hate admitting that.
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If that's what you want, sure. [ idly said. ] If it makes you feel better, somebody's probably gonna bald somebody else or something by tomorrow and everybody really will forget about it.
[ ...but. ]
Are you good? [ like. this is a genuine question, he is mildly concerned. ]
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...I'm more used to being a ghost than a human. It was bad enough here to begin with, being...fully human again, but at least I still had some bit of my old powers, however little.
Now it just...all feels wrong.
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even if he doesn't fully understand, he can relate enough. he has an idea, really, of how disorienting (not to mention vaguely terrifying) this actually would be for someone like danny. ]
Like being shoved back into a body that isn't really yours anymore and being forced to relearn how to do even the basics of living. You know it's you, but it doesn't feel like you, so everything that happens comes out feeling like...a loss of control. Something like that?
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Yes, exactly!
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That's a lot of how it feels for us when our powers start to manifest, and it wasn't any easier here when I got something I'm not used to. [ so. similar but not completely, in his opinion. ] The thing that made you you is no longer yours, so it's like...are you still you? It gets really complicated to think about too long but it still completely sucks. It's like every time I turn around something in this stupid city is ready to test my patience and see how long it takes before I start causing rolling blackouts or something.
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Those are the parts I try not to think about for too long. It gets...messy.
But more than that, it's...strange, having a normal heartbeat and body temperature again. I've been trying to...stay cool about it and be normal, but losing my intangibility is a step too far.
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The real problem with this place is that we really don't get enough time to deal with what's changing before something else happens. We've been here a month, and we're supposed to already be adjusted to these things changing a huge part of who we are whether that's giving us new powers or taking away old ones or changing our entire genetics. And on top of that, we're supposed to deal with people killing each other every where, the weird things that happen to us every week, and now...whatever this is. I don't see how anybody can really be completely okay right now.
[ faking it. everybody can fake it, but honestly people are going to be pushed too far. ]
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[ he doesn't sound thrilled, and he doesn't even actually figure out what he's swapped to until tuesday. ]
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You didn't change your mind about coming with us, did you? [ it is literally monday. but he's still asking. ]
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I know what you're probably thinking and...it actually hasn't been that bad? Surprisingly. Most people still do their own thing but the company's been kinda nice.
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[ his thumb idly taps on the table while the other hand keeps his head propped up. ]
It got better last year. But it's still...difficult, sometimes, to really know how a person's going to react. As it turns out a lot of people here actually are more than willingly to accept things. Weird experience. [ the last bit is said kind of as a joke, but it was pretty disorienting at first to really be able to talk to people. ]
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...you think?
I wonder what the "weird limits" are for people here...
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There're some people I'll mention necromancy to and I can tell they want to crawl out of their skin. And it's kind of funny but I also understand it. But then there're the people who...probably know more than I actually ever wanted them to know in the first place, and being honest about it meant their limits changed to something better than I thought. I'm not saying that's, like, an answer? Actually I probably would've been fine not being as perceived as I have been so far, but the point is you don't really know weird limits until you let people try to understand them.
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