Don't tell anyone, I still have a reputation to uphold. [ he shakes his head. ] ...I think it's probably easier on Will if I am, and a lot of the people I've met here actually aren't bad.
Mmhmmm. [ he says through a sip of his coffee. ] I think I mentioned before that not everyone is comfortable around people like me. Children of Hades, I mean. I lived on my own for a while, but when I did stick around for short periods of time, eventually it always kind of felt like...I shouldn't be there? Like being there threw off the dynamic everyone wanted and I overstayed my welcome. So I'd leave again, they'd need my help, rinse and repeat.
[ his thumb idly taps on the table while the other hand keeps his head propped up. ]
It got better last year. But it's still...difficult, sometimes, to really know how a person's going to react. As it turns out a lot of people here actually are more than willingly to accept things. Weird experience. [ the last bit is said kind of as a joke, but it was pretty disorienting at first to really be able to talk to people. ]
Pretty sure it has something to do with how you approach it. [ sometimes you hate everything about a city but then you end up self-reflecting about stuff. or, more accurately, you did a lot of self-reflecting before you got kidnapped to a dumb city and have been grappling with that on and off. ]
There're some people I'll mention necromancy to and I can tell they want to crawl out of their skin. And it's kind of funny but I also understand it. But then there're the people who...probably know more than I actually ever wanted them to know in the first place, and being honest about it meant their limits changed to something better than I thought. I'm not saying that's, like, an answer? Actually I probably would've been fine not being as perceived as I have been so far, but the point is you don't really know weird limits until you let people try to understand them.
Yeah, it's pretty gross. [ he's not a fan! ] It's...you don't have to trust them entirely, but being open to it makes it easier. As much as I hate admitting that.
Really. [ ... ] I'm pretty sure I would be a lot worse off here if I didn't have other people to trust even a little. Will's...great. Don't get me wrong. Will's pretty much everything I could ask for but we're still trying to understand a lot about each other. So having other people to talk to has sort of helped with making sure I can stay on track with the things happening here.
Sorry, that's...[ he's embarrassed is what it is and it's a constant cycle of "okay i feel a little more like a balanced normal person so maybe i can actually engage with people" that swings into "wait no i'm still fucking weird" and "oh gods i've apparently said too much seriously why aren't their lessons about social interactions at camp." ]
Never mind, I get that it's like...weird to know what to say to any of that.
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[ his thumb idly taps on the table while the other hand keeps his head propped up. ]
It got better last year. But it's still...difficult, sometimes, to really know how a person's going to react. As it turns out a lot of people here actually are more than willingly to accept things. Weird experience. [ the last bit is said kind of as a joke, but it was pretty disorienting at first to really be able to talk to people. ]
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...you think?
I wonder what the "weird limits" are for people here...
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There're some people I'll mention necromancy to and I can tell they want to crawl out of their skin. And it's kind of funny but I also understand it. But then there're the people who...probably know more than I actually ever wanted them to know in the first place, and being honest about it meant their limits changed to something better than I thought. I'm not saying that's, like, an answer? Actually I probably would've been fine not being as perceived as I have been so far, but the point is you don't really know weird limits until you let people try to understand them.
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[ sorry, he doesn't have anything else to add to that. ]
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Sorry, that's...[ he's embarrassed is what it is and it's a constant cycle of "okay i feel a little more like a balanced normal person so maybe i can actually engage with people" that swings into "wait no i'm still fucking weird" and "oh gods i've apparently said too much seriously why aren't their lessons about social interactions at camp." ]
Never mind, I get that it's like...weird to know what to say to any of that.
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