ACE

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

Comments

week 2, monday

[selfimmolation]

[ popping shrimp popcorn in his mouth like they are
well
popcorn

as he walks out of shrimp heaven and dodges being hit in the face by the mascot. ]

Picking up lunch?

[ honestly everyone has been acting so weird this is him checking if dante is normal at all ]

[foreverphantom]

[ lucky for ace, he is in fact normal! for now, anyway. ]

Trying to.

But what the hell is some of this stuff? "Shrimp coconut"?

[selfimmolation]

... Do you mean coconut shrimp?

[foreverphantom]

No. There's shrimp coconut.

[ points at. i guess it's a coconut that's shaped like a shrimp. not carved into a shrimp shape like a sculpture. like a naturally occurring shrimp-shaped coconut. ]

[selfimmolation]

... Huh.

[ puts it in his mouth ]

Tastes like shrimp.

[foreverphantom]

[ THE WHOLE THING?????? ]

[selfimmolation]

[ YOU SAID A COCONUT SHAPED LIKE A SHRIMP BUT SHRIMPS ARE SMALL SO I ASSUMED IT WAS ALSO THE SIZE OF LIKE, A JUMBO ONE

BUT SURE. CHEWING. ]

[foreverphantom]

[ I WAS IMAGINING A COCONUT-SIZED SHRIMP COCONUT but yeah okay

wait

SHELL AND EVERYTHING???? ]

[selfimmolation]

[ WHY WOULD A RESTAURANT SELL AN UNOPENED COCONUT WITH THE SHELL ON ????? ]

[foreverphantom]

[ you know what you're so right

anyway, ]

...how is it?

[selfimmolation]

Like someone dunked a coconut in shrimp water. I've had worse.

[foreverphantom]

What the hell is shrimp water?

[selfimmolation]

Water that tastes like it had shrimp in it. I don't know how to be clearer.

[ holds out some coconut. try it. understand. ]

[foreverphantom]

Then literally all sea and ocean water is shrimp water.

[ takes it hesitantly, but pops a piece into his mouth anyway ]

...huh. That is shrimp water, somehow.

[selfimmolation]

Now he gets it.

Anyway, the sea's got way more in it than just shrimp.

[foreverphantom]

Ah, I see. Water that has only ever been tainted by shrimp.

Delicious.

[selfimmolation]

I've had worse. Check this out!

[ lifting up potato shrimps.

it's potato chips

but made out of shrimp?

how. ]

[foreverphantom]

[ leans in to get a closer look ]

How do they even get them this flat...

[selfimmolation]

Shrimp shavings?

[foreverphantom]

That would just look like wood shavings, I imagine--small, broken pieces of shrimp. This is like...they've invented a special shrimp slicing machine just for this.

[selfimmolation]

Or maybe they just mashed it and rolled it out really thin.

[foreverphantom]

Such new and novel ways they've devised here to torture shrimp.

[selfimmolation]

They're just shrimp.

[foreverphantom]

Wow, I didn't take you for a shrimpist.

[selfimmolation]

If you're going to eat an animal, anything you do with the meat is fair play so long as you don't waste it.