...the day after I told you, I got a message saying I violated the rule for keeping the role a secret. Then the app got deleted off my phone and that was that. I thought I was being vague enough still, but I guess not.
I didn't even think there was an app, but of course there was. [ he feels vaguely annoyed again. ] To be honest, a part of me was kind of scared that you'd been killed because you told me as much as you did. I'm glad it wasn't that, but...you get it.
[ annoying as hell though all the same. ]
...do you regret telling me at all? As much as you did, I mean.
No. I thought it was revenge for killing Reigen, but it wasn't that either. Apparently Hanako just really hated my guts.
[ SEETHING HATRED AND ANNOYANCE
but then it softens. ]
...not really. By that point, I don't think I would've wanted to kill anyone else anyway, and I'm sure everyone else would've preferred that too. And if it helped you understand more why I did it, then... [ shrugs ] it worked out, I guess.
[ STOP also yeah look it's 2023 and neither demigod actually owns a cell phone.
anyway there is. a huge spike of irritation at the mention of hanako even if most of his facial expression doesn't change. it's just a flicker of a frown outwardly. but...then it switches to something more thoughtful. ]
...I feel as though I should apologize for not pushing him a little harder. By the time I thought that maybe we should be pushing everybody, I had my hands full. Not that it helped. [ he tried to protect will but things still happened, he means. more to the point... ]
I'll agree that yeah, I would've preferred you stopped murdering so I can't say I'm upset it stopped. And it did help. [ there's...something uneasy there, still. ] Mostly in that it helped put into context that while it started off that you felt more bad about how the rest of us were reacting you do still have a moral compass there. Even if it's rusty. Maybe it's something I've been thinking on lately.
Please. You're not even close to the only one who coddled that little brat and let him get away with anything and everything. [ he's angry and irritated, but not at nico ] It's how young he looks. Everyone thinks he's actually a child and so he never has to face any consequences. [ there's also a bit of indignation in the mix now too--how unfair, that if he'd been put in a clone body just a little bit younger he could've done SO MUCH MURDER!!!! WITH NO CONSEQUENCE AT ALL! (au where dan got put in a second dani body, oh lord)
anyway he still thinks that calling it a "moral compass" is taking it a little far, considering that he still doesn't really care about having killed reigen so much as hurting his friends' feelings, but. maybe that's not something he should say right now. ]
It had nothing to do with coddling so much as I was trying not to get Will killed. Hanako was the least of my problems at the time but knowing what I know now I'm not sure I would've hesitated to vote for him. Even if it upset some people.
[ him and his seven fucking votes. but it's whatever. he's totally chill. absolutely fine. the seething anger is just for show. (as is the underlying frustration and hurt about a few things that he's busy wrestling back and going ahhhhhhh about.)
that aside. yeah! that's probably not something he should say right now given he's had another conversation in that same vein about if danny's actually sorry or just sorry how it's impacting other people and other people's views on him. he has to draw his own conclusions here. ]
But sure. Kind of hard not to think about murder and consequences and morally grey areas in a place like this.
...I'm still angry about how it happened and that it happened in the first place. And that you jumped at the chance and that nobody asked questions why it had to be that way. But...ultimately it's not up to me to decide to take away your chance to try again to redeem yourself. It's a journey you're gonna have to take on your own, but I won't be the one to take the opportunity away from you.
[ so. it's not really total forgiveness because it was still fucked up, but he has decided that if danny still wants a second chance to try and fix things and become his own, better person, he'll still help him with that. he's still willing to hang out with him and spend time with him. he's not cutting off ties. ]
[ for a second he's a little put out that this isn't a neat and happy forgiveness. but...he was never going to get that, was he? this is probably the most generous response he can hope for. especially given how torched some of his other relationships have become. ]
[ it'd be nice if it was? he'd love to just forgive and forget, but the problem is that all demigod children have fatal flaws and the flaw of hades kids is holding grudges.
not that this is a grudge. it's complicated at best, and his emotions blip both to something settled and...apologetic, maybe, for how he's sure that's a disappointment. ]
...think about it this way, Fenton. A friend of mine got my sister killed, and even though I told him I wished he were dead I still had a crush on him for four years. [ dry. he's giving this specific example for a reason, mostly to say that even people he covets aren't always safe from his judgement. ] Just because people can't completely forgive you right away doesn't mean it isn't possible someday. It's just a matter of why you want it and what steps you might take to try and make amends. So far, this is a good start.
[ hey buddy? that's fucking wild. and that's coming from the guy who wanted to kill his dad/ex-bestie so he could hook up with his mom/crush. and also befriended a girl who keeps trying to kill him. ]
Yeah...I guess so. I think...I just want back what I had a few weeks ago. [ the uncomplicated relationships. the friends. ] Even though I'm not sure what that's going to take, exactly.
[ gently rolls up my entire essay on the complicated relationship between nico di angelo and percy jackson. yeah, don't look at it. it's fine. anyway. ]
...time, probably. Cheesy as that sounds. [ they've probably been wandering this amusement park while having this conversation and he's letting his gaze wander. ] I don't necessarily believe that time heals all wounds, but all of this is really, really fresh right now. You gotta give it a little space to see how everybody feels later once we've all settled again.
[ there's a pause. ] And I know I don't have to say this, but not killing anybody else important is also a good start. [ ...though, speaking of: ] Did you talk to Reigen when you got to the newspaper building?
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I didn't even think there was an app, but of course there was. [ he feels vaguely annoyed again. ] To be honest, a part of me was kind of scared that you'd been killed because you told me as much as you did. I'm glad it wasn't that, but...you get it.
[ annoying as hell though all the same. ]
...do you regret telling me at all? As much as you did, I mean.
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No. I thought it was revenge for killing Reigen, but it wasn't that either. Apparently Hanako just really hated my guts.
[ SEETHING HATRED AND ANNOYANCE
but then it softens. ]
...not really. By that point, I don't think I would've wanted to kill anyone else anyway, and I'm sure everyone else would've preferred that too. And if it helped you understand more why I did it, then... [ shrugs ] it worked out, I guess.
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anyway there is. a huge spike of irritation at the mention of hanako even if most of his facial expression doesn't change. it's just a flicker of a frown outwardly. but...then it switches to something more thoughtful. ]
...I feel as though I should apologize for not pushing him a little harder. By the time I thought that maybe we should be pushing everybody, I had my hands full. Not that it helped. [ he tried to protect will but things still happened, he means. more to the point... ]
I'll agree that yeah, I would've preferred you stopped murdering so I can't say I'm upset it stopped. And it did help. [ there's...something uneasy there, still. ] Mostly in that it helped put into context that while it started off that you felt more bad about how the rest of us were reacting you do still have a moral compass there. Even if it's rusty. Maybe it's something I've been thinking on lately.
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anyway he still thinks that calling it a "moral compass" is taking it a little far, considering that he still doesn't really care about having killed reigen so much as hurting his friends' feelings, but. maybe that's not something he should say right now. ]
You have?
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[ him and his seven fucking votes. but it's whatever. he's totally chill. absolutely fine. the seething anger is just for show. (as is the underlying frustration and hurt about a few things that he's busy wrestling back and going ahhhhhhh about.)
that aside. yeah! that's probably not something he should say right now given he's had another conversation in that same vein about if danny's actually sorry or just sorry how it's impacting other people and other people's views on him. he has to draw his own conclusions here. ]
But sure. Kind of hard not to think about murder and consequences and morally grey areas in a place like this.
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[ Danny is just barely restraining himself from murdering hanako at all times actually, ]
...and what did you decide in the end?
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...I'm still angry about how it happened and that it happened in the first place. And that you jumped at the chance and that nobody asked questions why it had to be that way. But...ultimately it's not up to me to decide to take away your chance to try again to redeem yourself. It's a journey you're gonna have to take on your own, but I won't be the one to take the opportunity away from you.
[ so. it's not really total forgiveness because it was still fucked up, but he has decided that if danny still wants a second chance to try and fix things and become his own, better person, he'll still help him with that. he's still willing to hang out with him and spend time with him. he's not cutting off ties. ]
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Well...I guess I should say thanks, then.
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not that this is a grudge. it's complicated at best, and his emotions blip both to something settled and...apologetic, maybe, for how he's sure that's a disappointment. ]
...think about it this way, Fenton. A friend of mine got my sister killed, and even though I told him I wished he were dead I still had a crush on him for four years. [ dry. he's giving this specific example for a reason, mostly to say that even people he covets aren't always safe from his judgement. ] Just because people can't completely forgive you right away doesn't mean it isn't possible someday. It's just a matter of why you want it and what steps you might take to try and make amends. So far, this is a good start.
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Yeah...I guess so. I think...I just want back what I had a few weeks ago. [ the uncomplicated relationships. the friends. ] Even though I'm not sure what that's going to take, exactly.
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...time, probably. Cheesy as that sounds. [ they've probably been wandering this amusement park while having this conversation and he's letting his gaze wander. ] I don't necessarily believe that time heals all wounds, but all of this is really, really fresh right now. You gotta give it a little space to see how everybody feels later once we've all settled again.
[ there's a pause. ] And I know I don't have to say this, but not killing anybody else important is also a good start. [ ...though, speaking of: ] Did you talk to Reigen when you got to the newspaper building?
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at the mention of reigen though he huffs a sigh ]
I did. Why?
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Just wondering what you might've said to him or what happened. Considering. That so bad?
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[ weirdo. ]
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All the things you hate, I know. [ haha. ] ...I can't say I'm surprised. He's actually pretty good at pinpointing when a person's a mess.
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[ he is SO disgruntled about it ]
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Like I said, he's good at what he does. There's a reason I trust him almost more than anyone here. Is it really that bad?
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[ that and danny hates how much reigen Perceives him ]
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You know a person can be perceptive without actually being a psychic, right?
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