[ there's a slow, almost sleepy blink like he's not even sure why danny's asking. ]
Uh. I kind of meant the former but now I'm also curious about the latter. You brought me here for a reason. You told Nimona before you told me. Where do you want to go now?
[ damnit, that's the thing he's sensitive about. he sees those bubbles, watching them briefly and watching danny's expression and he raises an eyebrow gently. ]
...really? [ there's like zero judgment in the tone because again. the thing he is sensitive about. but he is obvious curious about that response. ]
[ he is hunched in so tightly, making himself so small, and gives the tiniest shrug of his shoulders ]
...I haven't had anything like that in over a decade. I forgot how...nice it could be. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I started to have it again.
[ ...you really are making it so difficult to be angry right now. ]
...I'm not going to say I completely get it, because it was only about five years for me. [ or seventy-five. ] But after my mom died and then after Bianca died, I didn't exactly have friends or people who cared about me either. It's one of those things you don't really think you need until someone forces it on you very annoyingly.
[ the image in his head seems to be of someone blonde...but not quite will. ]
[ hewwo 🥺 i'm just a sad widdle murder maniac, pwease don't huwt me 👉👈🥺 ]
...yeah. Ten years since everyone died. And then another year or two in the thermos. But it's hard to tell the passage of time in there--it felt like it could've been an eternity.
[ stop i hate this also YEAH THAT'S WHERE HE'S AT AND I HATE THAT TOO god. the thing is that yeah, danny's a murder maniac but nico is at least able to recognize that he does want to change and he does want to build a better life so he's very much in the zone of "well. now what do i do."
it'd be much easier to be angry if it wasn't clear to him that danny's remorseful about it and actually has changed and doesn't want to be killing. it's possible that he's being lied to (again, because that just happens in nico's life sometimes), but...the thought sharing helps a little. ]
...the Lotus was like that. It felt like a month to me and Bianca, but it was really several decades. We didn't know it until we were out of there. It's disorienting to figure out what to do when you're trying to re-familiarize yourself with the world. [ he takes some time to think about this again. ]
...I want to still help you. [ but. ] I just...need to decide how I feel about all of this. I'm angry, obviously. I don't know how to forgive the fact that this happened, and that it also meant losing Ace. But I think I'm more angry at whoever told you to do this since it wasn't exactly your choice. [ .....although there's an important question here. ]
Would you have eventually killed one of us anyway if you thought it meant getting ahead? [ how can they be sure that's a habit danny won't just slip right back into, is what he's thinking. ]
At least you had some self-preservation. [ idly. but he's thinking about this and tumbling that around in his head a bit. ]
...you're right though. It's all bad, no benefit, no chance of changing for the better. I kind of wish that'd stuck with you before now, but...this happened. [ a pause. ] I am glad to hear that you recognize that though. But you're gonna owe both of them a huge apology, too.
Primarily for that, yes. Even if Ace himself would have wanted to own up to things he did. [ he frowns. ] ...you'll have to be open to those conversations when they come back. Even if it might suck a lot.
...if you don't, I will. So it's probably better that it comes from you. [ it's possible he will mention to will that reigen's killer confessed without attaching a name because, well, he and will tell each other everything, but he can respect that much. ]
[ he's not happy about it because, well, nothing about confessing to this murder makes him feel good. but nico saying it would probably be worse, yes ]
If it helps, he's not going to want to stab you either. [ ... ] Will's the most understanding person I've ever met. I imagine he's going to be shocked and angry and ask a lot of questions, but...if you tell him the way you told me, that might also help.
I can't guarantee full forgiveness from him either, but that's only because I don't want to speak for him. He's his own person and...both of them were pretty important to him, too. [ so. yeah. it perhaps does sound too good to be true, but he is doing his best here. ]
...despite...everything about this, I am glad you told me.
Yeah. [ and he does seem sincere about that. ] I've been...wondering for a while now what I could have maybe done differently to figure it all out. What he might've felt when he died. If he was really all alone, or what he was thinking at the time.
[ this might be the only time i'm glad my powers don't work here. ]
I don't really have all of those answers, but I can make some guesses. Plus, if I had learned from someone other than you, I really don't think I could ever forgive you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...okay. So...what do you actually want to do now? Have you thought about that?
no subject
What?
...you mean like here, or...in general? Philosophically?
no subject
Uh. I kind of meant the former but now I'm also curious about the latter. You brought me here for a reason. You told Nimona before you told me. Where do you want to go now?
no subject
[ he trails off, chewing on his lip hesitantly. as soon as the answer comes to him, he almost feels terrified of actually voicing it.
...I want to have more friends.
And then, with even more dawning horror, face starting to turn pink under a blush: ...I want to be cared about. ]
no subject
...really? [ there's like zero judgment in the tone because again. the thing he is sensitive about. but he is obvious curious about that response. ]
no subject
...I haven't had anything like that in over a decade. I forgot how...nice it could be. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I started to have it again.
no subject
...I'm not going to say I completely get it, because it was only about five years for me. [ or seventy-five. ] But after my mom died and then after Bianca died, I didn't exactly have friends or people who cared about me either. It's one of those things you don't really think you need until someone forces it on you very annoyingly.
[ the image in his head seems to be of someone blonde...but not quite will. ]
It's really been that long, huh?
no subject
...yeah. Ten years since everyone died. And then another year or two in the thermos. But it's hard to tell the passage of time in there--it felt like it could've been an eternity.
no subject
it'd be much easier to be angry if it wasn't clear to him that danny's remorseful about it and actually has changed and doesn't want to be killing. it's possible that he's being lied to (again, because that just happens in nico's life sometimes), but...the thought sharing helps a little. ]
...the Lotus was like that. It felt like a month to me and Bianca, but it was really several decades. We didn't know it until we were out of there. It's disorienting to figure out what to do when you're trying to re-familiarize yourself with the world. [ he takes some time to think about this again. ]
...I want to still help you. [ but. ] I just...need to decide how I feel about all of this. I'm angry, obviously. I don't know how to forgive the fact that this happened, and that it also meant losing Ace. But I think I'm more angry at whoever told you to do this since it wasn't exactly your choice. [ .....although there's an important question here. ]
Would you have eventually killed one of us anyway if you thought it meant getting ahead? [ how can they be sure that's a habit danny won't just slip right back into, is what he's thinking. ]
no subject
I wouldn't now. It's just...all bad with no benefit to it anymore.
no subject
...you're right though. It's all bad, no benefit, no chance of changing for the better. I kind of wish that'd stuck with you before now, but...this happened. [ a pause. ] I am glad to hear that you recognize that though. But you're gonna owe both of them a huge apology, too.
no subject
no subject
no subject
...right. Since I threw him under the bus and all.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Are you going to tell anyone else besides me and her? [ the implication is he's going to have to tell will himself and danny should know that. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ he's not happy about it because, well, nothing about confessing to this murder makes him feel good. but nico saying it would probably be worse, yes ]
no subject
If it helps, he's not going to want to stab you either. [ ... ] Will's the most understanding person I've ever met. I imagine he's going to be shocked and angry and ask a lot of questions, but...if you tell him the way you told me, that might also help.
no subject
even nico's response thus far, rocky as it's been, feels kind of like that too. ]
no subject
...despite...everything about this, I am glad you told me.
no subject
no subject
[ this might be the only time i'm glad my powers don't work here. ]
I don't really have all of those answers, but I can make some guesses. Plus, if I had learned from someone other than you, I really don't think I could ever forgive you.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)