ACE

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

Comments

[selfimmolation]

Maybe it's edible?

[ no. ]

[foreverphantom]

Maybe.

You wanna try?

[selfimmolation]

Not if it's actually wood.

[foreverphantom]

Well, you won't know until you eat it, will you?

[selfimmolation]

Hey, hey. I'm not so stupid I can't tell when something's not food when I'm holding it!

[ the phone is an exception. ]

[foreverphantom]

Okay, okay. We can figure out if it's food or not easy enough. But first...

Do you think it's food? Or just a toy?

[selfimmolation]

It's probably a toy, but it'd make more sense being in a vending machine if it was candy.

[foreverphantom]

Let's find out.

[ vends for a little toy train! He pulls it out and offers it to Ace ]

[selfimmolation]

[




puts it on top of danny's head ]

[foreverphantom]

[ blinks

then immediately brushes it out of his hair ]

What.

[selfimmolation]

It's not food.

[ he doesn't want it. ]

[foreverphantom]

[ laughs a little ] Aww, man. I really was hoping you'd give it a bite or something first.

[selfimmolation]

Seriously, I'm not that stupid. I've hunted my own food since I was a kid.

[foreverphantom]

I thought you stole it.

[selfimmolation]

There's no way I could sneak into town every day.

[foreverphantom]

What, did you live out in the woods or something?

[selfimmolation]

Yeah.

[ yeah. ]

[foreverphantom]

Alone?

[selfimmolation]

Sort of. I was raised by mountain bandits.

[foreverphantom]

Well that's a new one.

What are mountain bandits?

[selfimmolation]

... Pretty much what it sounds like? They're bandits, they live up in the mountains. Criminals, y'know.

[foreverphantom]

And they...come down from the mountains to loot towns and stuff while you stole food?

How'd you even end up with them?

[selfimmolation]

Nah, I did that stuff on my own. They stole from travelers, but sneaking into the city's a whole other thing.

[ hm. that question. he laughs a little ]

The why's a long story! But I was dropped off as a baby, and they didn't exactly get a choice in the matter.

[foreverphantom]

[ that's a very suspiciously upbeat reaction to have about that, sir ]

Yikes.

I'm guessing it's not a huge jump from mountain bandits to pirates, though, huh?

[selfimmolation]

[ sometimes you just look at your life and you gotta laugh about it man ]

You'd think so, but the guy who dropped me off was really surprised I didn't end up joining the marines.