Before, when I was alive, I was a healer on the battlefield. I spent every day of my life bandaging wounds, easing fevers, setting broken bones - all for those who would, the second they recovered, get back up and go out to do it all over again. After years of watching good soldiers throw away my efforts to keep them alive, I quit.
What, I asked, was the purpose of a healer, if those I healed refused to hold onto life?
[ a pause. ]
Years later, a former master of mine came to tell me that a General needed my help. And over time, her purpose became my purpose.
[ a sigh, here. ]
My suggestion, Brimstone, is to see what gives others their drive to live. If you cannot find something yourself, copy someone else's work until you find what works.
[ that's fair i feel like you'd have to torture that information out of most people ]
Those are all very dedicated people. You can ask them what gave them purpose in life. But - if that's too difficult, or you'd prefer not to, just observe them. See what brings them joy, and then try it for yourself.
You don't need to do it in front of them if it makes you feel like a numbskull.
[ the concept of 'liking' something and experiencing 'joy' sound fake and stupid to him but this is already fairly well established so let's not bother relitigating it beyond an eyeroll ]
How does coming back from war ruin your taste?
[ like. the tastebuds and need to eat never went away. ]
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Before, when I was alive, I was a healer on the battlefield. I spent every day of my life bandaging wounds, easing fevers, setting broken bones - all for those who would, the second they recovered, get back up and go out to do it all over again. After years of watching good soldiers throw away my efforts to keep them alive, I quit.
What, I asked, was the purpose of a healer, if those I healed refused to hold onto life?
[ a pause. ]
Years later, a former master of mine came to tell me that a General needed my help. And over time, her purpose became my purpose.
[ a sigh, here. ]
My suggestion, Brimstone, is to see what gives others their drive to live. If you cannot find something yourself, copy someone else's work until you find what works.
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...and how do you do that? [ find out what drives other people and adopt their motivations as his own ]
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Well, you'll need to try to get along with the others. [ wryly. ] Which means not throwing punches or causing scenes.
For now, are there any people here that you don't despise?
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Charlie. Marcoh. Waner.
[ perhaps even jiaoqiu. but you'd have to torture that out of him. ]
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Those are all very dedicated people. You can ask them what gave them purpose in life. But - if that's too difficult, or you'd prefer not to, just observe them. See what brings them joy, and then try it for yourself.
You don't need to do it in front of them if it makes you feel like a numbskull.
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the thought that he could actually do something to improve himself is terrifying though.
he's silent for a few moments before he eventually grunts. the grunt is supposed to mean "okay." ]
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Good. Would you keep me updated? I'd like to hear about what you try, if you do.
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Use your words.
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Have you tried any sorts of cheeses?
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...no. Not since becoming human again.
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Hm, then... perhaps you'll like that, or grilled cheese? That is essentially toast, which can be quite dry and bland.
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[ this is actually canon. although most fans like to exaggerate it to a violent hatred and even trauma. around toast. ]
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Of course. [ NOT THE TOAST TRAUMA it's fine jiaoqiu didn't think it was going to be that easy. ]
I doubt you'd like pasta...
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Hmm... let me continue to think on it. I'll find something. [ thwaps him with his tail again. ] So picky.
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It was only after I stepped off the battlefield that I found a liking for spicy foods. It's the only thing I can taste anymore.
I do hope you find something you like. It'd be a shame to lose out on the joy good food can bring you.
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How does coming back from war ruin your taste?
[ like. the tastebuds and need to eat never went away. ]
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Everything is dull. Life lost its flavor. [ so like, depression basically ] Do you actually care?
[ that's not accusatory so much as it's idle. ]
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