JIAOQIU

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

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w0, saturday

[foreverphantom]

[ we are in the kitchen! Dan, newly outfitted along with a variety of spiked bracelets, is idly grabbing knives out of the cutlery drawer and throwing them at the opposite wall

none of them are sticking on account of the wall is brick. two of the knives have slightly dented tips, but all five of them are just in a small sad pile as they fall to the counter. ]

[fried]

[ ougughhghg he is Offended by this

jiaoqiu, in his tragically boring canon outfit, comes into the kitchen to make food, as you do, and then stops and watches dan do this. after a moment, he just marches right over and attempts to take dan by the wrist before he can throw the knife. yes, this is dangerous. no, he does not care. ]

What are you doing, child.

[foreverphantom]

[ he is now being held by his bony, bony wrist! he tries to tug out of jiaoqiu's grip, but i'm not even gonna roll for it and say that he's too weak for it ]

What do you care? What are you, the police?

[fried]

No, I'm worse.

[ he says, huffily. he does not drop dan's wrist. sorry for his cold fingers. ]

The knives are less useful when they have been thrown at a brick wall. What is the point of this?

[foreverphantom]

[ grits his teeth for a moment, deciding how much of a fight he wants to (or can) put up. He tries to yank his wrist free again. ]

Can't a guy blow off some steam?

[fried]

There are plenty of other ways to blow off steam that don't involve destruction of public property. Other people use these things, you know.

[ he will let go finally, though. his ear flicks. ]

I can find you something to do if you're that desperate.

[foreverphantom]

Oh, great. Just what I wanted, being convenient to someone else. I love being given permission to do things.

[fried]

If you'd like to be treated like an adult, you'll act like one.

Would you like to help me cook something?

[foreverphantom]

[ purses his lips ]

And why would I want to do that?

[fried]

You'll get to eat some of it when we're finished.

[foreverphantom]

That's not as much of an incentive as you think.

[fried]

No? You don't like food?

[foreverphantom]

No.

[fried]

Are you being contrary because you don't like me?

[foreverphantom]

While that is something I would do, no. I'm being truthful right now.

[fried]

Interesting. Will you tell me why?

[foreverphantom]

Because it's disgusting. The sounds and sensations of chewing, the textures, the--swallowing, and the digestion. It's foul.

[fried]

... Oh, I see. You're not accustomed to a physical form.

A heliobus managed to find its way to the afterlife. Curious.

[foreverphantom]

A what?

And I'll have you know I've been in the afterlife. Not being dead was actually the unusual part.

[fried]

A spirit that possesses bodies.

[ he sounds exactly like the one heliobus that jiaoqiu has met it's so funny, it's the only reason he's saying it ]

This is a much different death than you're used to, then?

[foreverphantom]

...oh. Well then in that case, yes, that's not too far off.

Normally by now I would've left the body behind and returned to being a ghost. But I guess this time they wanted to find more creative ways of making me suffer.

[fried]

You must really hate your form if this is suffering.

[foreverphantom]

I'm dead and I don't even get the benefits that come with it.

And I'm still stuck looking like a weak child.

[fried]

I'm going to be very disappointed in how old you actually are, aren't I.

[foreverphantom]

[ glares ]