ADLET

[foreverphantom]

shitpost tbd

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[foreverphantom]

So that would be like October or November, so...Scorpio, I guess?

[ you've been assigned vriska. ]

[querencias]

[ what's an october or november. ]

Scorpio...like scorpion? What's that one about?

[foreverphantom]

Uhhh, the stereotype is that they're all mean and catty and evil. [ laughs ]

[querencias]

What?! That's nothing like me!

[foreverphantom]

I told you it was a scam earlier, didn't I?

[querencias]

[ sigh. ]

Right. What's yours then?

[foreverphantom]

Aries. It means I was born in April--uh, the middle of spring.

[querencias]

[ Nod.]

We're supposed to do the compatibility thing, right? So how do a scorpion and the air match up?

[foreverphantom]

[ laughs ] Aries. It's supposed to be a ram!

As for "matching up" and all that, I don't know, we'd have to consult like, a trashy magazine for that or something.

[querencias]

Want to go find one? Since it's a task this week.

[foreverphantom]

[ sighs ] I guess we should, huh.

There's a bookstore in that new mall, I think. We should be able to find some there.

[querencias]

Let's go.

[ off to the mall! ]

Fortune tellers must be out of business in this era if a book can tell you the same thing.

[foreverphantom]

[ to the mall! cheesy superhero show transition goes here as we walk into the bookstore ]

There's plenty of ways to tell fortunes. I mean, they're all bunk, of course, but there's still a lot of things they can do that these magazines can't.

[querencias]

Do they still use those glass orbs?

[ hopefully the gfx in the transition are good! ]

[foreverphantom]

[ depends on if you think this is good. ]

I mean...probably? Maybe? I don't really go to fortunetellers, but that's like, what you think of when you think "fortuneteller." Someone looking into one of those glass orbs.

[querencias]

[ hell yeah the classics. ]

Yeah, diviners or scryers. They're really hit or miss though, unless they happen to be a Saint.

[ but anyway... he's pulling out a horoscope book. ]

This all we need?

[foreverphantom]

Pretty much. Here. [ he takes the book from Adlet to start flipping through it and finding the section on Scorpio!! ]

That's yours.

[querencias]

[ he reads his aloud because sure why not: ]

"You feel mentally and physically great, and your business and financial interests may take a sudden turn for the better. A contract could be involved. Love matters should also be going very well, and children could bring you great pleasure. This is a good time to make future plans and pursue your most cherished ambitions.."

I mean I feel mentally and physically great every day cause I'm the strongest man in the world! But I don't know anything about love or kids! [ he's blushing like an idiot. ]

[foreverphantom]

[ snorts ] They're all like that. They always include something about love and stuff like that. Here, flip to the Aries one--it should be at the start of the entries.

[querencias]

That's stupid.

[ flipping to Aries let's see: ]

"Heightened imagination and ingenuity could bring new ideas for advancing yourself in money and business affairs. Practical information attained from outside sources merges with insights to bring useful information your way. Consider everything carefully before taking action. Be open to the advice of others. Whatever you do, today shows promise of being successful and fortunate."

...hey, I thought you said they always mentioned love!

[foreverphantom]

Usually they do. I guess I'm just lucky.

[querencias]

I'd look up Hans' but he doesn't even have a real name let alone a birthday. Is there a cat horoscope?

[ he just wants company in his misery. ]

[foreverphantom]

I mean...one of the horoscopes is a lion, which is a type of cat?

[querencias]

Close enough. Which one is that?

[foreverphantom]

Leo.